Two Of A Kind

Chapter 3 – Emptiness

It was noisy and she hadnt nearly had enough to drink yet. Nursing her third beer Shane looked at the various women on the dance floor. Some of them shed already slept with. Some she didnt remember sleeping with. And the others just didnt seem too appealing. The same thing had happened the other night at Milk after shed seen the doctor. Shed arrived at Milk determined not to go home alone. Immediately she had spotted a young blonde standing at the bar talking to someone who looked vaguely familiar. She had sat down at the other end of the bar and had just looked at the girl until she caught her gaze. When the girl noticed Shane kept looking at her she eventually came over. They always did Shane thought to herself. They had talked. They had flirted. They had gone to her place. The moment the girl had closed her door, Shane had roughly pushed her against it and had kissed her hard. She had caressed her lower lip with her tongue and then had pushed it in her mouth causing the girl to moan. They had moved over to the bed the girl removing Shanes top. She had felt her breath on her neck before her lips kissed her there. The girl licked and kissed her way down to Shanes *****. She had tried to get into the moment but she couldnt feel anything. There was nothing there. No emotion, no excitement, just emptiness. Abruptly she had pushed her off her and had put on her top. Apologising she had headed for the door and had heard the girl call her name as she had closed it behind her.

It had been like that for two months now. Whenever she was with someone it was as if she wasnt actually in the room. She didnt feel anything. Shane had been too freaked at first to talk to any of the girls about this. And now she just couldnt bring herself to saying it out loud. It was bad enough she was never going to love or be loved. But now she couldnt even bring herself to indulge in a little nightly comfort. Maybe you should try something stronger than beer to drown those sorrows. Shane looked up in surprise. Alex. The doctor motioned to the bartender. Two Jack Daniels, and she turned her gaze back to Shane. For some reason she looked forlorn. Alex knew the feeling. To be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. Are you worried about your friend?, she asked as the bartender brought over their drinks. Shane just nodded and sipped her drink. Alex smiled and placed a hand on Shanes back. Dyou wanna talk about it?, she asked. Shane looked into those eyes and lost herself in the feeling of Alex hand forming small circles on her back. She felt heat creep up her spine and sighed involuntarily. Immediately Alex pulled her hand back. Sorry, I didnt mean to invade your personal space. As she reached for her drink Shane grabbed her hand, You werent. Ive just Its been. Yeah I know. If it makes you feel better Im making progress. Shane started to question her and then suddenly realized she was talking about Marina. I think your friend is in England somewhere. But like I said I need a little time. Shane was about to say something when a perky blonde came up to them and hugged Alex from behind. Hello stranger. Where have you been? Ive been waiting for ages. Hello beautiful. Unfortunately some of us have to workyou know to pay the bills, Alex said smiling while she leaned into the hug. Seeing the look on her face Shane felt a stab of envy. The way she talked to the blonde, she could hear the change in the young doctors tone. Come dance with me, the blonde said and when Alex started to object she added, Please, making her lips pout slightly. Alex laughed and let herself be pulled to the dance floor giving Shane an apologetic look and shrugging.

Shane was watching the two of them dance when Tina joined her at the bar. Hey girl, how are you doing? Did the great Shane just strike out?, and she playfully tugged at Shanes hair. Well you cant win em all I suppose, Shane said and went back to watching Alex and the blonde. She was pretty in a next door girl kind of way. The two of them were obviously very close. Closer than Shane liked to think about and resolutely she turned her back to them and downed her drink in one. Tina just looked at Shane and felt something was wrong. But she knew better than to ask. Shed tried so often in the last two months, but every time Shane had just brushed her off saying she was fine.

Alex watched Shane talking to the blonde at the bar. She knew they werent lovers. The body language wasnt there and she felt a little relieved. You like her dont you?, Nicky said turning her face to Alex. Of course I like her. Shes hot. But you like her like her. Alex looked at her friend and then at Shane. I dont know. Theres something about her, she said, Besides her being totally hot. She smiled at Nicky. No one could read her better. Sometimes it felt really good. Other times it was just a pain. Tonight it was good. Feeling connected to another person like that. Rough day?, Nicky asked. Yeah, and Alex pulled her closer to her. Sensing Alex didnt want to talk about it Nicky leaned into her and just held her tight. Without saying anything else they danced till the song was through.

When Shane turned back to the dance floor the doctor and the blonde were gone. Tina had also gone leaving her to her own devices, so she just got up and left. Tomorrow was another day.

****

Two days after that night at Milk Alex found herself back at The Planet. She had been working long hours. And what time she did have left she had tried to track down the mysterious Marina Ferrer. This woman had quite a past. But then she had guessed that when she had seen her in the hospital. She had only spent a little time with her, but when she had looked into her eyes she had gotten a glimpse of her past. Pain. Despair. Loneliness. And she had thought to herself another lost soul. Then she had moved on to the next lost soul. And the next until she lost count for the day. And now two months later she knew more about this woman than she had imagined that she ever would. It had taken a lot of favours, but she had managed to track Marina down. Somehow it made sense. If a person wanted to build a new life, they would have to go to a new place and start all over. Like she had once tried. But eventually she had returned home to her friends. Perhaps Marina would too one day.

Bette and Alice were once again arguing about Marina. I cant believe weve stopped doing anything about finding Marina just because some strange woman told you that she would find her. Dont you even care?, Bette said accusingly. Of course I care, but the last time I checked we came up with zilch. And she did manage to track down Marina to Europe which is more than you did, Alice replied brusquely. Shane was about to interject when she caught a glimpse of Alex standing by the door. She waved and Alex smiled and started walking towards them. Hey dude, Alex said smiling and she sat down next to Shane putting her arm on the back of Shanes chair. Hey, Shane grinned. Tina and Alice exchanged a look. This was the first time in days they had seen Shane smile. These are Tina and Bette, also friends of Marina, Shane introduced, This is doctor Alex Roberts, the woman whos going to help us find Marina. Have you found her yet?, Alice asked eagerly. Alex just smiled. So where is your hot tennis player, she asked playfully. Alice just scowled at her making her smile even more. Dana is off promoting her new perfume, Tina answered, And please ignore Alice. Shes just having Dana withdrawal symptoms. Alice cast an angry look at Tina and then she looked at Alex and shrugged apologetically. Its our first time apart. Ah, the end of the honeymoon period, Alex said, Always hard. She reached across Shane and tossed back the rest of Shanes coffee. Hey. Dont worry, Ill buy you another one. You know caffeine addiction can be a serious problem. Oh like nicotine you mean?, Shane replied looking at the cigarette in Alex hand. Hmm touch, and she smiled.

She was starting to like this shaggy brunette more and more. Careful, she told herself and out loud, Shes in London. London?, Alice exclaimed. How can you be so sure?, Bette asked her voice laced with scepticism. She felt a hint of jealousy. She was the problem solver of the group and now this stranger had managed to find out more in a few days than they had in two months. Dont ask, dont tell, Alex said slyly and then whispered into Shanes ear, Although if you twisted my arm, I might just sing. Shane felt her breath caress her neck and for a moment she closed her eyes savouring the heat. She leaned back into her chair against Alex arm and felt that same feeling she had had the first time they had met. So now what?, Alice said looking at Alex questioningly. Now we go to London, and she turned her gaze back to Shane. We?, Bette said. Yes, me and Shane, Alex replied as if it was evident. Uhmm you want the two of us to go to London?, Shane said shifting in her seat thinking of being alone with the doctor in a strange city a thousand miles from home. Part of her was loving the idea. But the other part, the sensible part, set off alarms in her head. Funny those alarms hadnt been in place when shed met Cherie. I think we should all go, Alice said, After all shes our friend her tone clearly implying that now Alex job was done. Shane glared at Alice but before she could say anything, Alex simply shook her head. No, just the two of us. Your friend was very hard to find. In my experience people who try that hard dont want to be found. Seeing Im the one who managed to flush her out, Im also going to protect her privacy. Well go there and see if shes ok. If she wants to see you, well give you her address. If she doesnt, well at least youll know shes doing alright, and she just shrugged looking at Shane again. Alice started to object but Alex simply said, Take it or leave it. The ultimatum hung in the air. Bette was staring at Alex angrily. I dont see how this is your decision. No Bette, shes right, Tina finally spoke up. Bette looked at her in surprise. She hadnt expected Tina to side against her. But then again things werent the way they used to be anymore. Ok, Shane agreed her face impassive, but on the inside she was feeling confused. Excited and scared at the same time. What was this woman doing to her?

Ok, lets go, Alex said getting up. What? Now?. Shane looked up at her questioningly. Yep, we leave in three hours. Enough time to swing by your place and pick up some things, right?, Alex smiled at her. She loved catching people off guard. She felt it taught people not to take anything for granted. Right after her cousin Eric had hacked into several databases she preferred not to know about and had given her the information, she had booked two tickets on the next flight to London. What about your work?, Shane asked. Alex just looked at her and then shrugged. I quit yesterday. Turning to the rest of the gang she said, Nice meeting you and see you in a few days, and turned around and walked towards the door. Shane scrambled to her feet grabbing her jacket and yelled a hurriedly goodbye to her friends as she followed Alex out the door. Outside she grabbed her arm. There were so many things she wanted to tell her starting with how much she affected her whenever she saw her. But the only thing that came out of her mouth were the words Thank you. Alex smiled at her and simply said, I like you, before flagging down a cab.