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Tina, Tiny Pieces Chapter 21
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Steve Teitelbaum’s office, Thursday morning,
I sit here, self-conscious, hoping I’m not looking as visibly twitchy as I feel. We’re waiting for Steve, Bette’s attorney, to get a few more papers from his assistant.
Bette looks the picture of composure, her face pleasantly expressionless. She doesn’t look at me. That’s why my nervousness increases, because I can’t seem to stop looking at her. Unluckily for me, Mark isn’t a talkative type, so he sits, slumped casually in his chair beside me, placidly leafing through a sheaf of documents, unaware of me and my machinations, unaware of Bette.
Henry offered to come with me. Since I slapped him, I’ve tried to restrain my inclination to snap at him and he has tried to restrain his desire to harp at me about how wrong he thinks this is. Mostly this means we barely speak, or if he speaks, I barely say more than two words in reply. This morning I slipped.
I can manage on my own, thanks. I can’t imagine your presence would … improve the situation, Henry.
He shrugged and smiled, a little helplessly.
It’s not like I’d say anything Tina. I was thinking maybe I could be – you know – moral support?
I bowed my head for a moment, a little ashamed. I shook it, I looked up at him again.
This is really between me and Bette, Henry.
He didn’t say another word. I picked Angelica up off the floor, put her in her car seat, took her to day care and then drove here.
I saw Kit in the parking lot, parked far in the back. The car wasn’t running and her window was rolled down only halfway, she appeared to be just staring out the windshield.
I didn’t wave or even smile in her direction, as I assumed she was that far away and the car was off on purpose. I know why she was here – because of me and because of Bette. Because of me – because she needed to make sure I showed. Because of Bette — because if I didn’t, it would be Kit who would scrape Bette off the floor, walk her out, bring her home, lay her down, help her move on.
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1st…..brb
LK…this is so powerful. I have to reread to understand the depth of your emotions and what has been expressed. Everybody’s in such pain. Fucking depressing.
just kill me LOL…what an agony i feel even though tina is doing something right…
God, I just wanted to reached into my monitor and punch Tina for letting it get this far! You again managed to reach to the depths of our souls!
Good lord, this chapter was excruciating to read… it was also AMAZING! *shakes head in wonder* The patience you give to this pain… the power and depth is astounding and just extraordinary writing. Thank you.
I’m not quite sure how Tina can compare this time in the lawyers office to the time they were in Joyce’s. The huge difference I see here is that then, Bette wasn’t too proud to beg, and now, Tina is only concerned enough to have ANOTHER mental pity party. I see that Tina keeps referencing back to Bette running off with Angelica. I understand Bette doing something desperate, but it just seems that no matter what Bette does, Tina will always finds a way to punish Bette for her actions. Damn…how long does Bette have to do penance and why does it seem that she has to keep paying some sort of price for loving Tina Kennard AND THEIR baby?
Tina is loing her mind. If there’s no reunion in the end, I hope at least we could see Bette move on with her life and live happily. BTW, next time, post THE dog here! ;)
my..tina has definitely ” crossed the rubicon”. actually she did that when she married Henry. as she has a propensity to eat people alive she should move up the canyon,away from all men and women, meet Bette halfway on baby days and take up quilting. either that or commit herself.perhaps she has the chance to eventually stabilize but as per Bette it’s way too late. you’re extremely talented at conveying anguish. MAN….
Pain – I read this thinking that it was Bette’s pain you were talking about. But maybe it’s Tina’s pain. Or both of them.
Will this even keep Bette in town? I mean it’s not legally binding, and she still dosen’t trust Tina at all. Love this story!
Good lord you’re a heart ripper lk.
well lasty, I will buy the cake excuse only if large pieces are on their way immediately to all us lasty fans who have suffered! snQQpy said it best and smiley is also right on, with Tina’s belief that just cos it comes out of her mouth, it will be “as you wish, Queen tina!” I HATE what she has done and is doing to Bette, to make her crawl for the privilege of seeing her own child, and if tina was suddenly sane and human tomorrow, nothing would erase the damage she has already inflicted, and that is why we are being so hard on her. Bette shouldn’t ever trust her as far as she could throw her. I don’t know how l/g couples have the courage to have children, when we have no real protections under the law. I would like a piece of cake with a star on it please?????
oh hell wow, first chapter i’ve read…powerful stuff…more soon please
LK I felt like my heart was coming to an infernal boil by the time I finished this chapter. Your story is excruciating to my heart and oh so painfully well written.
This is an amazing story, and one that I’ve really been looking forward to reading. You’re doing a wonderful job – keep it up…and post more soon!
man, i felt the pain in this story. i don’t even know what to say about this. speechless. please let tina dump henry soon and work towards getting her woman back!!
Delighted that you posted this awesome story…though i always find it hard to read…its so goddamn sad!…i could never not read it, as its so goddamn addictive….But always a pleasure…Thanks…looking forward to whats to come..
Again I am in awe of your writing. I felt as if I were right there in the room and in Tina’s head. At least T is beginning to see herself and her (destructive) patterns. Excellent, excellent chapter.
Kid, you out do yourself each and every chapter. Pitch perfect! Tina’s twitching, fidgeting and irritation are all signs of her deep seeded guilt. She is being made to run the gauntlet and she is being tortured with her mistakes. I suspect that Henry’s desire to come with Tina had more to do with his hope that Tina would change her mind with him in the room, or probably more likely that he was hoping that his appearance would somehow cause Bette to snap making the adoption next to impossible…..Bette already knows how lucky she is, Tina doesn’t have to tell her that. Kit may be a lot of things, but she’s got Bette’s back – and Bette knows it. She understands the value of family, she never dismissed Melvin entirely, she holds her friends close to her heart and she wants Angelica to have a family – one that knows they love her, looks like her and cares about her. Not that Tina doesn’t, but Bette has family in her blood……The fact that Tina had to look around the room to see who “Mrs. Robinson” was only goes to prove that she is still a stranger to herself. She is having a few more moments of clarity, but there is still a lot she has to learn about just who Tina Kennard is……Tina has a lot of sins to atone for, returning Angelica to Bette is just one step closer to absolution and eventual forgiveness – both from herself as well as Bette……Wanting Bette to look at her and smile at her shows that she still wants everything to be about making her – TINA – feel better. Her feelings and how she is preceived is still her biggest priority, but small in roads are being made. To say with such conviction that the adoption WILL be completed shows a strength that has previously been AWOL…..I do wonder though, if her motivations aren’t still to appease her own soul and not Bette’s. There is a part of her that wants to do the right thing, but she wants credit for doing it when really she doesn’t deserve any credit…..She treats Henry abysmally and doesn’t treat, or hasn’t treated Bette any better……Bette’s smart to want their custody worked out in the attorney’s office, Tina has not given her any reason to trust her, so why should she trust that she wouldn’t change her mind if they were left to their own devices, everything else that is within Tina’s control is certainly dissoluble, why wouldn’t this be as well?…..Tina’s naive belief that the adoption should go as she plans still elucidates how Tina still cleaves to the theory that ‘what Tina wants, Tina gets’……Funny how the very convention that Tina eshewed with Bette – marriage – has turned out to be quite the opposite of what she longed for as a child. Her anger at Bette’s denial of her childhood dream may have made her angry back then, but it’s her own choice that has made her an angry woman now……Tina is being forced to see her own hand in how their lives are playing out. Their demise, their custody, their future and the support and power struggles that took place and are still taking place – all of these scenarios are not the result of just one person, but two…and Tina is just as culpable as Bette. She has glimpses of her sabotage, her control issues and her fear and more recently – of her lonliness and longing for what was once a much happier time. When Tina falls off of her high horse it’s going to be a long way down, whether she will be strong enough to survive the fall remains to be seen. Right now she is a frightened and wounded animal, a victim of her own struggle to get out of the trap that she has gotten herself trapped in by tripping the snare of her own insecurities. She inflicts pain on those that try to befriend her and she herself in is pain – and she is hemmorrhaging. She’s going to need more than a band-aid for this, she’s going to need a transfusion. Small steps towards making things right may be the first drops in transfusing her soul and ultimately transforming her life – and Bette’s…….Bravo! Excellent! Superb! Once again, I wait with great anticipation for your next chapter.
I cannot believe how freaking good you are at this! I find I have to remind myself to breath while I’m reading it. I slow down towards the end cause I want it to keep going and going. Poor, broken, little Tina. She is attempting to do whats right, but nothing seems to be helping/healing her. I cannnot wait to read your Bette and Angelica reunion. Please don’t make us wait too long. Thanks Kid :)
This is SO intense – but wonderful too – please post more soon – I’m so wrapped up in this story…
The flashback to the college professor reminded me of a movie where we’re looking through someone’s eyes and see brief flashbacks in the span of maybe 3 minutes at the most. Often when that scene ends I’m sitting there wondering what the hell I just saw. But here I was able to understand it as we’re getting a “voice over” from Tina herself instead of the the head honcho assuming we know what’s going on. Tina saw at least 2 moments in her life that seemed insignificant at the time, but now they are haunting her as they ended up being fairly important.
Well, I was wondering where you’d gotten to. This was painful to read, and no doubt painful for Tina to experience. And that’s a good thing. Not because I’m a sadist and like to see Tina suffer, but that pain is what makes us grow. It seems to actually be helping Tina see the situation and her role in it more clearly, and this time she’s NOT running, but attempting to deal with it responsibly. Hey, it’s a start!
Why is it that everyone is still hard on Tina. She is really trying to right the wrong she did. Shes not there yet? but shes getting rhere.
So Henry is Henry Robinson and Tina gets to be Mrs. Robinson by virtue of her marriage to him. And I thought Mrs. Robinson was trying to seduce. And she was brunette.
Great, fucked up my own joke: s/b seduce me.
I am amazed how you’re able to explain Bette and Tina’s reactions, through an example or a past action. I trully think it gives to the story a particular angle. I’m very curious on how Bette and Tina will interact on the first visit and how Tina will act with Henry because she doesn’t seem to cope with him right now. Anyway, it is a great story, full of fellings and human interactions.
Wow, excellent chapter Kid! The use of Tina’s memory was brilliant! There is not too much of what I can say about Ms.Tina at this point. She is what she which is a fucking mess! Did tina actually think it would be smooth sailing and she would be redeemed once she allowed Bette to see Angelica? Did she really think the courts would be like “As you wish Queen Tina” and make it easy for Bette to get the adoption? This will be quite difficult for Bette to get and I’m not sure if she has the stamina, given what she has been thorugh with Tina to go through it again. After all this why would Bette take Tina back? Why would they be together? Too much shit has transpired between these two that you can’t ignore, slide it under the rug and everything is huny dorey. Bette can’t even look at Tina without disgust,pain,anger,sadness. Has tina even utter the phrase “I’m sorry” acknowledge Bette’s feelings out loud? When I think of Tibette in this story, the word PAIN comes to mind. Post soon! Now i’m off to read a happier story! :)
Your baker excuse is most credible to me :) This chapter must have been simmering in the oven of hell inferno to capture such pain. Painfully intense!
Liked the use of the pain lecture with the scene in the lawyer’s office.
WOW!!! That was Just WOW!!!! I am at a loss for words. Tina in pain I love it. Thank yoy kid this was Great!!!!
Amazing. I really loved the flashbacks to the lecture, very powerful and poignant what he was saying about pain. This chapter just HURT… but was SO well written that I guess I forgive you. ;) Thanks!
This was so excrutiating painful to read, so intense, so incredibly powerful. I just think you are amazing. I hope there is some pathway back for them – at least so that they can speak directly to each other and without the coldness from one and the guilt of the other. And here in the UK we’ve still got to get through Season 3! Is there no light at the end of the tunnel??????
Bravura performance! You have me on the edge of my seat! What is Tina going to do??? Will she explode?
What a way to express, you’re a master kid.
Tina seriously needs help. I mean it. … Ser-i-ous-ly.
I’m at a total loss for words save for, Tina is totally fucked up. Excellent chapter!
Firstly I would like to thank you because u posted, I can’t get enough of ur writing. I bow before you LK, ur story is simply amazing. Thank you…
Aye, lordy, this hurt my heart. Excellent, outstanding, as usual, but really painful to read. That’s the consensus I think, but nobody can turn away. I love, love, love your story! Please, do whatever you can to post soon. Get someone else to ice the cake…how many cans of frosting does that take anyway? Wait, getting off topic here…please post soon! And even if it was 956 pages you can believe that I’d read every single one of them. Granted my eyes would be falling from my head, but dammit it would be worth it.