“Tina”

I freeze,  bloody hell…. please don’t introduce me to your date.

“Tina what are you doing here”

Suck it up Kinnard I take a deep breath and exhale before I turn round and face Bette and whoever she is with.

“Hi….I wasn’t spying on you…I just came out for a run….and I don’t know how…..but I kinda ended up here…..I’m sorry….I’ll go…..sorry..” I know I’m rambling and I’m relieved when her soft concerned voice interrupts me and I realise she is in fact alone.

“T….. why are you crying”

That feeling of relief I felt didn’t last long, where do I begin to explain, I have no idea.

“I don’t know”  Is all I can offer, everything else is just too complicated, again I use the quick change of subject routine.  “What are you doing here”

“I don’t know I guess I just ended up here”  Bette sat down on the bench and pats the empty space beside her.

I sit leaving a small gap between us where I drop my hand, as we sit in total silence just staring at the open park ahead it dawns on me this is the closest we have been in months without the possibility of one of my parents popping their head in the door, are we hungry? Are we thirsty?, there is something wonderful just about to come on the T.V., do we want to play scrabble?.

I don’t know how……did I….. did she….. I don’t care…..in that small gap between us our hands are clasped together and I can pretend even if it’s only for a minute that everything is going to be ok.

“Tina I think it’s time we talked about it”

“Bette there’s something I have to tell you”

We had broken the comfortable silence at exactly the same time.

“You first”  again we both say it at the same time, we giggle like the children that not so long ago we were.

I eventually raise my finger to her lips to tell her to be quiet and release a huge sigh before I begin.

“Bette my dad is being transferred to…..” I look back into the open space unable to continue, not until I can swallow the mammoth lump in my throat.