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The Dying of the Light Part 23
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There are few true freedoms in life; few things that our ours and ours alone. Our life itself belongs to many, from our family to our friends and on a grander scale the state and nation.
The only thing that we own is our mind, our very thoughts and fantasies unvoiced and unheeded. It allows a child to become a sheriff, or a superhero to defeat evil, to gives partners desires to sate… to gives a dying man a taste of the crisp morning air one last time.
Freedom is having wings; allows us to soar to heaven, or descend to the deepest pits of despair.
Freedom is a double edged sword, on one side it gives life, on the other it takes it without mercy.
There was a coldness to their tears, a bleak numbness that that fingered at her, filling her. There was no way to sate her pain, the humiliation of having the people who she tried to care for visiting her. Waiting for her.
She wasn’t there anymore. There was no way forward, no way back.
Blackness surrounded her. Called to her in voiceless command.
Bette Porter was not of the world. Not longed for this world.
Times past she was a dreamer, she remembered this. Imagination and beauty filled her soul with a life that could not be questioned. A life that meant something, with people who she wanted to live; to live for.
It felt like a lifetime ago.
A time before her father died.
Before she cheated; before Tina lost the child.
There was no joy in those times… only the knowledge of her failures. Of the uselessness of her existence and the pointlessness of her words of love. She hurt those people she loved…
What right had she to have joy in her life?
Tina watched the lone bird fly overhead and wondered if it too was separated from it’s family and friends. Was it a choice that the bird made; did it run away to hide from it’s life, to experience a new life?
Did her friends and family tell it to leave. Did the bird change, decide it wanted a life that its friends didn’t agree with? Was he forced to leave by circumstances rather then choice?
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Why Shane? That one is easy. Shane has never been judgemental about Bette’s actions. She’s street smart. Most of her wisdom comes from leaving her life on the streets. Both her parents gave up on her, at a tender age. She is a survivor of adversity. Probably, that is what Bette needs right now, in order to find a way to cope with her own inner demons. Shane is a free spirit, who is scared of commitment. Not because because of the compromise per se. She is afraid that the person whom she loves, may ditch her, like her parents did. We know that her presence near Bette, would help her friend to start opening herself. Not that she has all the answers, BUT she will tell the truth and that is what Bette would appreciate right now. Let’s see if the new anti-depressant medication might work, too. Ah! Big sigh! We know it will take a long time for Bette to recover her self esteem and fight back. In our opinion, selecting Shane could be the first step. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
I can understand why shane. As long as bette gets better, as long ash she willing to do the work to get better.awesome update :)PPS
my goodness it breaks my heart to see bette in such a dark place… I have hope though that she will find herself in the light once again. Sometimes it takes falling to the bottom in order to rise from the ashes like a phoenix
Depression kicks one’s ass it is cruel and relentless. Some of us the drugs don’t fix. You have captured the feeling very well.
Shane will go see her and not bullshit her. Hopefully this is Bette’s first step. pps