*Wow…*

It felt like I had just stepped into a hot bath… My instant reaction was to tense up but in less than a minute it felt so marvalous…

Letting my head rest on her shoulder I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, tears still running over my cheeks. She handed me a tissue… not saying anything… just sitting there with me in complete silence… But it wasnt an awkward silence… It felt like there was no need for us to say anything on that moment… just be together…

*Whoaaaaa Porter, dont make this into something its not… She is just trying to be your friend here*

But still I wasnt able to break the contact, or stop the crying… And when she softly started stroking my hear, I started something else… I started to talk… Talk about my parents, about my mother leaving, about my inability to ever please my father in whatever I was doing, about all my worries for Kit, about how they all seemed to have come true… I told her about Kit, about the way she couldnt resist alcohol and her behaviour and then I told her why I was so upset…

I saw her today…

My head had rested on her shoulder the whole time I had been talking, only once or twice I had looked up too see how she reacted to the things I was saying… She didnt freak out… She just listened. But now she said softly:

And what did you do?

Recalling what I had said I suddenly felt ashamed and I pushed my face into the fabric of her sweater. She cupped my head in her hands, forcing me to look at her. Looking away I repeated what I had said to my halfsister… Slowly she captured my eyes with hers, saying:

I know this is not what you want to hear Bette… But I guess we now found the reason why you are so upset… You know she must have changed a lot… How else could she have gotten a job at that place, the planet you say? I think you desperatly wanted to talk to her, but you were too afraid to do so…