The sun was setting with a soft glow across the pool, the light bouncing up off the water and spilling softly in through the open bedroom windows. As the sun went down, the temperature was dropping steadily, making it comfortable enough to sleep with the windows cracked.

Bette wasnt really tired yet, but she didnt know what to do with herself. Ever since Tina said she would call tonight, she could think of nothing else. She willed the time to go by faster. After a bath and a nice glass of wine, Bette finally decided to just get into bed with some brochures of prospective exhibits and wait patiently for the phone to ring. The cordless sat in the middle of the bed, mocking her by doing nothing other than being silent.

She pulled the sheets back and got into her side of the bed. You would think after five months of living alone she would have ventured over to the other side, or at least explored the middle. But she didnt. She felt strange if her foot even wandered over there. The sheets were always cold and unwelcome, the chill nipping at her toes as if to bite her back to her own side.

She pulled the thick comforter up over herself and reached for the stack of pamphlets to pull them into her lap. The white cordless lay there sleeping, its caller ID readout like closed eyes.

Suddenly the eyes came alive and a shrill ring filled the room.

Bettes heart literally skipped a beat, hiccupping her chest. She grabbed for the phone and stared at the screen.

Kennard, T.
555- 493-1685

Thank you, God.

Bette didnt even try to play it cool, she quickly hit the talk button and answered with a breathless, Hello?

Bette? Tina seemed a little caught off guard.

Yeah, Tina, Hi!
Are you busy? Tina asked.

No, no, not at all.

Oh okay, you seem a little out of breath.

Bette thought for a split second, I was running for the phone, I was outside, I was just doing some pilates exercises, but in the end she decided to go with the truth.

No, I was just getting into bed with some work, and I guess I am just really excited that you called.

Oh, good. How are you? What are you working on?

Oh nothing much, just looking through some brochures of potential exhibits,
Bette quickly changed the subject, How are you? Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, I am feeling good. Im a little tired today, but that is normal. I feel better now that it is cooling off a bit.

Good… I guess you feel the heat a lot more being pregnant. Bette really wished she could see her instead of talking on the phone. Her fingertips felt warm with the memory of their daughter kicking her earlier that day.

Yeah, but it isnt too bad, I just try and stay in the air conditioning as much as I can.

Good… it was really nice talking to you today, thank you for letting me feel her kick, Tina, it was so amazing.

It is, isnt it? Tina said, It is such a crazy feeling from the inside.

Bette felt a tiny pinch of jealously that she would never know what that was like. What does it feel like?

Well… in the beginning it just kind of felt like gas, Tina giggled, but now it is different, sometimes it feels like someone is flicking you with their finger, but on the inside, but then sometimes it is just more of like a sweeping feeling, like someone is trying to gently push their way out of your stomach.

Wow, I cant even imagine how incredible that must feel.

Tina laughed, Yeah, well it is only incredible when she isnt doing it on my bladder, then it isnt so much incredible as it is embarrassing.

Oh my God, did she make you pee?

Tina laughed again, and Bette realized it was the most incredible sound she had heard in months, Well, not a lot, not anything anyone would notice, but yeah, sometimes if she pushes down hard enough, it makes me pee. Tina gave an embarrassed giggle.

Okay… God… I am no longer jealous. Bette laughed with her.

No, no it is still great, I wouldnt change this experience for anything.

They were both silent for a minute.

I wish I could be there for more of it. Bette said quietly.

Yeah, me too.

I miss you so much, Tina.

I miss you too, Bette, thats why I want us to try and get together more.

Do you want to come over right now? I can order some food. Bette said excitedly.

No, Bette, nows not good. I dont want to rush anything, lets just meet up tomorrow and we can go from there okay?

Bette suddenly realized that Tina may not be alone, she knew she was calling from her new apartment, but that didnt mean that Helena wasnt there.


Oh, okay, well lets just decide on a time and I will let you go, does ten oclock sound okay? Bette suddenly wanted to end this conversation. The idea that Tina was talking to her while Helena was there made her head hurt. Tina, taking a moment away from their rampant sexual escapades to call poor, pathetic, Bette. Escapades that *her* daughter had to be present for.

Yeah, ten is good. Bette, whats wrong?

Nothing, no… I just know you are busy so I dont want to keep you.

Bette, shes not here. Tina said directly.

Bette was silent.

Bette, dont do this, please. She isnt here and she has nothing to do with the fact that I want to wait until tomorrow to see you. I am just doing some laundry and stuff around the house tonight, plus… I dont think it is a good idea for us to spend time alone at one anothers house right now.

Bette was still silent.

Bette? Tina asked.

Yeah, Im here. Im sorry, I didnt mean to overreact.

Tina laughed, Yeah, I know, but you are just so good at it.

Yeah, but you are good at calling me on it. Bette said with a sad tone.

I know, but that is what makes us work, we even each other out.

It doesnt feel like we are working right now. Bette said.

Of course we are, we are having a conversation arent we? Tina questioned. Look, this isnt going to be all better overnight, it is going to take some time, but I finally feel like I am ready to try and I hope that you are too.

I am, Tina, I *so* want this. Bette said, Im sorry.

Its okay, I understand. Tina replied.

Tee?

Yeah?

What did you mean when you said you dont think it is a good idea for us to be alone together? Bette asked.

Tina was quiet for a beat, while she searched for the words to make Bette understand. Well, I guess I just feel that we are both kind of vulnerable around each other right now, and I dont want us to rush things without being able to talk about stuff and work a few things out first.

Youre afraid well have ***** arent you?

Im not going to lie to you, Bette. Yes, that is one of the reasons. Tina said, Are you mad?

Mad? No, Bette laughed, Actually, I am so happy…

Bette…

No, I mean just the fact that you are worried that we wont be able to control ourselves around each other… it makes me happy. I agree with you Tina. Bette said, It is part of the reason I wanted you to come over.

To seduce me? Tina asked.

No, not do anything you dont want to… but to remind you of what we had, I really want to make love to you Tina. Bette admitted. I have that crazy need for you like I did when we first met. You are right to not want to be alone with me because all I want to do is take you in my arms and make you remember how good we can be.

I remember it, Bette, I never forgot.

I know… Bette said and exhaled, I have faith that I will get to be with you again. I cant imagine my life any other way, and if I have to wait to show you how committed I am to making this work, than I will. I know it will be well worth the wait.

Bette could almost sense Tina blushing through the phone.

Bette continued, Can I admit something to you?

Sure… Tina was a little nervous.

I know I dont have the right to say this, but it makes me a little sad to know that I am not the only woman you have ever been with anymore. Bette felt like such an idiot for even voicing the admission, she hoped that Tina would understand where she was coming from and not get upset.

Well, youre right. Tina said, You really dont have the right to say that, but I appreciate your honesty.

Bette was silent.

But, I really think that you should thank Helena, Bette.

What? Bette couldnt believe her ears.

No, its true, before all of this happened, I always kind of wondered what it would be like to be with another woman.

Bette felt her ears turn hot.

Tina went on, Not seriously, but just wondered… but I always felt that no matter what curiosity or attraction I felt to someone else, it wasnt worth losing what I had with you.

But I did. Bette thought sadly.

But, Tina continued, this has only proven my theory. I wont lie to you, Bette, feeling like someone really desires you and finds you ***** is exhilarating, and Helena and I have had some really great *****…

Please make it stop. Bettes mind was racing.

But, in the end, it only made me miss you more. Tina said, We used to have that, and much more, and I really feel that if we can work on things, we can have that again and even more.

Tina was quiet for a second.

Does that make any sense? Tina asked.

It does, of course it does, its really painful to hear, but it makes sense. And I agree with you, and I am willing to make things different for us-better.

Good, me too. Tina said.

Are you going to stop seeing her? Bette asked. Why… why can I not control the words coming out of my mouth? Bette asked herself.

No… not right now, it doesnt change the way I feel about you, she knows that and we have an understanding, but she also really needs a friend right now and I want to be there for her.

Okay, said Bette.

Bette thought, A friend and someone you ***** regularly are two totally different things, Tina, but decided against verbalizing any part of her minds process, for once. Instead, she felt the need to get something off of her conscience.

Tina, I have something I need to confess. Bette said.

Okay, what is it? Tina asked.

When I went to New York a couple of months ago… I had… I slept… I had a one night stand.

Tina was silent.

It was stupid and Im sorry and the only reason I am telling you this is because I want to be completely honest with you, even if it may hurt, and I hope and pray that I just didnt ***** up my chance to get back together with you… Bette felt tears sting her eyes.

Bette, no…. you didnt. We arent really together and we certainly were together a couple of months ago. I admit… it hurts to hear it, but I am not mad at you.

Thank you… It was a mistake, I was so lonely and brokenhearted and Helena and Peggy made me feel like ***** earlier that day, I just needed to feel in control of something. So, like an idiot, I went and got drunk and fucked the first girl that looked interesting.

Bette heard a small sniff on the other end of the line and her heart sank.

Tina? Im sorry, I shouldnt have told you.

No, no Bette, Im glad you did. Im not mad, just a little upset. I guess somewhere deep down I just wished that you would have been too depressed to think about anyone else. That for once you would have just sat at home and waited for me. Tina said, I know it is an unrealistic thought, but I think a part of me wished it was true.

Its not an unrealistic thought, it is exactly what I should have done, I felt like ***** as soon as it was over and I havent slept with anyone else since.

I heard you went on a date… Tina said.

Yeah… a date that I ruined by talking about you the whole evening, Bette laughed, After that I decided that I was better off just sitting home for awhile and dating myself.

What?

You know what I mean… ***** with someone you love? Although, I didnt really always love myself very much, at least I wasnt dragging anyone else down with me, and I could keep my thoughts of you to myself. Bette gave a nervous laugh, even after spending seven years of her life with Tina she felt a little embarrassed admitting that she masturbated while thinking about her.

Bette… Tina said slowly.

Im sorry, Tina, that was out of line… Bette responded quickly, I guess I just really miss you and I want you to know that.

No, its okay… Ive done it too. Tina admitted.

They both sat in silence for a few seconds. Bettes mind wandered to a pregnant, full bodied Tina thinking about her and touching herself, her visioned blurred a little bit.

Before this goes anywhere were not ready for… I think we should say goodnight. Bette finally broke the silence.

Yeah… I think you are right.

Okay… well I will see you tomorrow morning at ten then, right?

Yep, ten… and I wont forget to gulp down a glass of O.J. first.

Thank you… I cant wait to feel her again… Bette said, I am really looking forward to this, Tee.

Me too, have a good night.

You too, sweet dreams to you and our baby girl. Bette said with a smile.

Thank you… bye.

Bye. Bette looked at the phone and hit end.