As Bettes Audi pulled into the driveway of their home, Tina felt a sudden wave of anxiety flood through her body. She hadnt been back to the house during their time apart. When she needed something, she had sent Alice, and now that she was here, it felt as if shed been gone for years. Staring up at the front of the house, the porch, the shrubs, somehow it looked different, Tina couldnt place her finger on what it was, it just seemed different. She heard a small cough, and was shaken out of her daydream, unsure of how long she had been sitting and staring out the window. She felt Bettes hand on hers.

“T, are you ok, are you sure youre ok with this?” Bettes voice was gentle and sincere, she didnt want to push Tina to do anything she didnt want to do. Not after what had happened when they had returned home from Provocations a week earlier.

“Yea, Im ok, lets go inside.” Tina said softly, stepping out of the car. Bette followed. At the door, Tina turned and stepped aside so that Bette could unlock it. To Bette, the gesture was a painful reminder that Tina didnt live there. She sighed as she opened the door, allowing Tina to enter. She followed, flicking on the lights.

Tina was a bit surprised by the appearance of the living room, she had been expecting a mess, Bette had never been the house-keeper type. Instead everything looked picture perfect, carpets vacuumed, shelves dusted, everything looked in order.

“Expecting company?” Tina joked.

“Hey, Im not completely incompetent! I just wanted to be prepared, thats all.” Bettes expression suddenly shifted into one of melancholy.

“Its been so empty here without you Tina, youre the one that makes this house my home, you know that?”

Tina reached out and brushed away a tear at the corner of Bettes eye. She pulled the woman to her, hugging her tightly, softly caressing her back. She sighed when she felt Bettes lips lightly press against her neck at the base of her ear.

“Oh Bette” Tina whispered. Bettes lips began to move, tentatively. They reached Tinas chin, lingering before inching up to her lips. Bette seemed almost afraid to make the kiss official, like she was waiting for Tinas permission. Tina gently shifted Bettes head, finally bringing their lips together. It was a hesitant kiss, neither of the women sure of what to do next.

Tinas bottom lip trembled slightly. The last time she had been physically intimate with Bette had been a complete disaster. During that regretful encounter, both women had been searching for something that wasnt there, for answers that they would not find. There was still a lot of ground to cover before they would ever come close to fully moving past everything that had happened, but all Tina felt at this moment was a desire to be close to Bette.

The kiss became deeper, Bettes tongue tentatively seeking Tinas. When their tongues met she lost herself into the kiss, holding the back of Tinas head, using her other hand to brush a way a strand of Tinas hair that had fallen onto her face. It took all of her self control to step back, when what she really wanted was to make love to Tina right there, against the wall.

“I wanna do this right T, ok? How about a glass of wine?”

Tina smiled and nodded in appreciation, while she knew in reality what Bette really wanted, and how much self-control it took for her to restrain her lust. She sat on the couch as Bette walked to the kitchen. She leafed through the pile of mail and papers that were neatly stacked on the coffee table.

Many items were addressed to her and she set them aside to open later. Some things had been opened already and she glanced through the random papers. Electric bills, memos from the CAC, a few papers from the Center where Tina worked.

Suddenly, one paper in particular caught Tinas eye. It was a bill of some sort, typed up were a list of various items and their corresponding prices. What caught Tinas attention was the header at the top/ center of the page. Provocations: Construction and Carpentry Utilities. Tina pulse began to quicken, her eyes scanned the page, stopping at the bottom. She recognized Bettes neat writing next to Employers Signature. Glancing to the right, next to Employees Signature were the two words Tina had been dreading when she first saw the paper. Candace Jewel was written in delicate cursive letters, and Tina felt her stomach flip on itself. She suddenly felt herself grow nauseous, and she quickly threw the paper back on the table. She knew that a signature on a bill had little meaning, but seeing the name on paper was a concrete reminder of what had taken place, and Tina felt like she had just been punched in the stomach.

Just then, Bette returned from the kitchen, carrying two glasses of chardonney. She leaned over kissing Tina on the top of her head. “Here ya go babe.” She said, reaching over the couch to offer Tina a glass. Tina made no attempt to take it.

“Hey, you ok?” Bette asked concerned. Tina didnt respond or move. It was then that Bette saw the paper that was lying on the top of the pile on the coffee table. *****! she thought to herself, starting to panic.

Bette quickly walked around the couch, and placed the wine glasses on the table, more specifically on top of the paper.

“T, Im sorry, I didnt mean for you to its just a bill. Tina, please say something.” Bettes voice cracked. Things were going so well, why did Tina have to see this tonight?

Suddenly, Tinas frozen demeanor changed, large tears began to tumble down her cheeks dropping into her lap. She buried her face in her hands as Bette looked on helplessly. Tina felt Bettes hand touch her arm as she sobbed.

“Oh God, T, please, please dont cry, Im sorry, I love you I love you.” Tina could tell by the sound of her voice that Bette was crying now too. She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. She folded her hands and placed her forehead on them.

“God, Bette, this is too hard.” Her voice was shaking as she spoke. “Theres always gonna be something to remind me, theres always something I love you too Bette, and I know that its just a bill, but its so hard.” Tina squeezed her eyes closed fighting tears that burned at the inside of her eyelids.

“I know T, I know. Im so sorry, I can never say it enough. I just need you so bad. I know that itll always be there, but please, Tina, I love you.” Bette dropped her eyes and looked at her lap sadly. She knew what she had to do. “Ill drive you to Alices if you want But please just know how much I love you, I want to fix things.”

“Me too.” Tina whispered. “Im exhausted, I need to sleep.” Bette nodded and stood up heading to get her jacket and keys.

“Bette. I want to sleep here.” Bette turned around slowly, she was shocked, and a bit confused.

“What? Are you, but I” She didnt understand, did Tina still want to make love to her, tonight, after THIS? Bette was at a loss.

“Just sleep, I just want to sleep here.” Tina said, her voice reflected her exhaustion. Bette nodded.

“Ok T. If thats what you want. Im just gonna go get changed, Ill sleep on the couch, you can have ourthe bed.” She headed towards the bedroom. She came back a few minutes later wearing cotton pants and a tank. Tina stood from the couch and approached Bette slowly, her eyes downcast.

“Youve still got pajamas here in your drawer.” Bette said softly.

“Bette, stay with me, please?” Tinas voice was shaky, but her words were sure. She took Bettes hand and walked to the bedroom. She rummaged through her old drawer and found a large t- shirt and a pair of boxers. Bette hadnt said anything, and turned away politely as Tina changed. She heard Tina get into the bed and turned back around, then climbing in herself. Tina gently laid her head on the pillow, deeply breathing in its familiar scent. Bette lay down as well, making sure to keep a good distance away. She closed her eyes, despite the fact that she was wide awake.

About five minutes later, she was still lying there with her eyes closed, no closer to falling asleep. She felt Tina roll over a couple times, moving around on the mattress. She heard something, it sounded like a sigh, or a soft whisper.

Tentatively, she opened her eyes. To her complete surprise, Tinas face was about four inches from her own, her eyes were open, looking at Bette.

“T.” She whispered. Tina stared into Bettes dark brown eyes.

“Will you hold me Bette?” Tina whispered shyly. Bettes heart fluttered as she nodded gently as Tina then turned herself so that her back was now to Bette. Bette reached over, wrapping her arm tightly around Tinas waist, pulling her close against her body. She tucked her head into Tinas shoulder, softly kissing her ear.

“I will hold you forever T, forever.”