In between the love attacks of the past 36 hours, K and I would break for a snack, to change the sheets, change the music and even check the FAN FIC site. After reading just a few of the stories, she told me how she could understand my addiction. She even thought my tale was funny ! She asked me if Whatshername was the ONE and I told her no but she was on my top five list.

Well, I really like this ones story. I think shes hooked me. Shell be my ONE.

You just better be careful, I warned her. These writers like to wait for days to post the next chapters and youll be craving her story while shes drinking margaritas and laughing knowing she has you right where she wants you – in front of the computer. Theyre good, Im telling you, be careful.

K WAS sitting in front of the computer, naked, looking at the latest posts and told me to come join her to check something out. Naked as well I headed towards her after putting on some new tunes. I straddled her lap, my back to the screen. She strained her neck to look around me to read a story . I took advantage of her position and started licking that neck up one side and down the other. Not to be deterred, she moved my head out of the way and noted, Look at these postings. Theyre like mini bios, true confessions of a FAN FIC writer. Pretty revealing stuff and a good read as well.

Not to be deterred either, I continued lapping and began yapping. Yea, I read them and I was intrigued but just a little miffed.

OK, stop, K pushed me back a bit so we were face to face; she seemed genuinely disturbed by my comment. Explain, she demanded.

Ya know, its like the pretty girl in school who says its a curse to be so good looking, or the rich guy who says money cant buy happiness. These people were never unattractive or poor, so its hard to believe that they know any other reality. I try to explain my twisted thought process. These writers are SO talented but it seems some of them lack confidence in their gift for whatever reason. ..Im not one to psycho-analyze them, god knows I have enough unresolved issues of my own to deal with, and I certainly dont doubt their distress , but they got the goods , K.. They make the readers laugh and cry and go OH NO – -OH MY GAWD – they hook the readers and leave them wanting more, more, more. They are most excellent storytellers. Yet some of them think they are not worthy, or no good or whatever. I dont get it. The comment sections are full of positive responses and ego boosting remarks, yet some still cannot accept the fact that they do good work. I envy them SO much, I truly do. Sometimes I just want to smack em around a little, shake em up a little, give em big hugs and say, SHUT UP AND WRITE. I cant continue my love affair with you unless you post the next chapter. GET BUSY. I NEED A FIX AND I NEED IT NOW. . They are so, so , so good — superb writers, drug pushing, love dealing, addictive writers.


Ok, ok, ok, take a breath, girl K playfully chided I m beginning to understand your obsession, but maybe I shouldnt be calling you on your road trip after all. I wouldnt want to upset you.!

It was Ks idea to call me with updates on my favorite FAN FIC writers while I was away with my friends. She said she would read to me, and if the story was one of those sexfest ones she would talk a little dirty to me afterwards and we could have a little ***** of our own – over the phone!

K was quite familiar with my friends having met them several times over the course of our relationship. She likes them, Im positive she does. But she, like hordes of others who have experienced the three of us together, found it difficult to spend any more time than necessary with us. Each one of us is a really good, kind, considerate, and fun person to be with. But put us all together and youve got trouble times three. K really didnt understand the purpose behind our annual missions, but she accepted the fact that during that period we were totally focused on accomplishing our goal. No distractions like computers were tolerated, so she would shoulder the burden of feeding my addiction to the FAN FIC stories by calling in nightly reports. I was starting to feel a little better about going despite the fact that Fred was just put in the ground a few days ago. Yea, being with the girls during the day and hearing K phone ***** me before I go to bed at night would certainly make for a great trip.

Ya know what, K? I said. I think its time to shut off this computer and have you fulfill my OTHER insatiable need – Im gonna be gone for more than a week and Im desperate for a fix of your lovin real bad.

You are such a cornflake, K says as she shakes her head at my description of my desire for her. She shuts off the computer (a skill I taught her to master!), gets up from the chair and leads me to the promised land!!

Dont get all wicked on me, but I want to know just one more thing about the FAN FIC stuff, she says as she lays me down on the bed and positions herself on top of me.

What? I ask just looking into her eyes searching for the reason I am so in awe, in love with this woman.

How come you dont write about Bette and Tina or Shane or any of the others? She feels me stiffen just a bit beneath her. Come on now I said dont get weird about it; you dont have to tell me if you dont want to.

Its not that I dont want to tell you, Im not sure I can. Bette and Tina and the others are in storylines I didnt create. They are characters not of my imagination, so its hard for me to put them into crazy situations because I cant picture it in MY mind. The other FAN FIC writers seem to be able to weave believable plot lines. They all seem to be so much better at writing dialogue and developing relationships – I cant compete with their talent, so I stick to my own thing.

Sounds like you suffer from the same insecurities that you accuse the other writers of having, K replies as if she has unraveled some big mental mystery about me. Before I could defend myself she French fries me with an unbelievable kiss to keep me from talking. Ok, I wont talk. Changing the subject abruptly she asks, Are you all packed?
.
Yep. I got plenty of clothes, several disguises, my research, the camera and of course a few ***** toys. I just am a little embarrassed about going through all that airport security. Oh yea, I had the package Fed-Exed yesterday so it should be at the hotel tonight when we all check in. You know, that is so totally illegal what I did – automatic jail time if Im caught. Hope you dont mind being with a felon.

Dont sweat the small stuff, hon, She lies there without speaking just looking into my eyes, my soul- its so comforting. Hey, I just had a genius idea. Ill take the cab ride with you to the airport in the morning – you know doing it in a cab is on THE LIST she raises her eyebrows several times and flashes a devilish grin. (K and I have a list of 327 public places in which we are going to have ***** before we die – were up to 128).

I just stare back at her and smile and say nothing. I could just look into her eyes all night. My smile gets a bigger and bigger and a little more wicked as I think about her proposition.

That is an excellent idea, a genius plan for sure . . .

K reaches for the small lamp on the table near the bed to turn off the light. I ask her not to because I love having ***** when I can watch her. Several hours later as K sleeps so soundly on her side facing me one hand on my stomach, I reach to turn off the light. I lie in the dark on my back, one hand behind my head the other lightly caressing Ks. As usual, I can not sleep. I think about what I have and wonder why I cannot accept the fact that there is happiness in my life. A feeling of impending doom constantly clouds my brain and I just know that something will happen to disrupt this bliss. But whatever happens I will accept it and feel a bizarre sense of satisfaction, a self-fulfilling prophecy, somehow knowing that perhaps I do not deserve to be happy. That is why I dont write about Bette and Tina. I want them to be together, forever and always. I dont just believe in happy endings — I DEPEND on them. So its just too much responsibility on my part to find them peace and joy in a storyline when I cant seem to believe that I deserve it when writing mine. We write about what we know – I know that Bette and Tinas fate should not rest in my hands. Im having enough trouble with my own. . . .



TBC