K and I had disengaged our passionate liplock and now faced the other two, and believe me they were not easy to look at.

You guys are very clever, I admitted. You had me completely fooled – a rebel without a clue. A most excellent plan cloaked in a most excellent adventure with the Women of L. Brilliant and very much appreciated. I really do love you all.

The only thing I still dont get is the #*&$^% . . . OUCH . .***** K was what that for?

K had grabbed my thigh and squeezed it so hard I couldnt finish my thought about the blonde. She continued squeezing it as she spoke. Theres nothing else to get, hon. You got it all. Hey, were here.

Katey pulled the limo in front of one of those all night wedding chapels and of course the minister inside and her brother were decked out in Elvis attire. License #471 opened the door for all of us to exit, K being the last one out. I followed Sug and Bigs into the chapel turning to see what was keeping K. She and the driver were cheek to cheek deep in discussion, K handing her a lot of cash. Hey, you coming or are you leaving me to marry one of the Elvises?

Ill be right in, and she was.

The minister was a lovely woman who didnt seem to be playing with a full deck (that comment just keeping with the Vegas theme). The name on the podium in front of the chapel read Jade Rogere.

Thats a lovely name, Jade, I said to her trying to suppress a laugh as I watched her in her Elvis gear prepare the sanctuary for the ceremony.

Why thank you sweetie, she replied with just a twang of some Southern dialect. And my last name is French you know, pronounced RO GZAIR. (FRENCH? YEA MAYBE FRENCH LICK OR FRENCH BOTTOM OR SOME OTHER SMALL HOLLER IN THE HILS OF TENNESSEE OR KENTUCKY BUT NOT THE FRENCH FROM ACROSS THE POND!)

Lovely, I answered not knowing what else to say!

We all gathered around the front of the chapel and Jade introduced her brother Wilson who was also Elvised -up. He served as musician and witness – neither service required.

Wilson, eh? Like the volleyball? I couldnt resist asking.

He just glared at me through those sunglasses and shook his head, NO. Well that was enough to scare me quiet.



The ceremony was short and to the point – K knows Im not much on mush. We had rings made several months ago because we thought that someday I might get a sense of reality and give in. So K had those in her pocket. The legality of the whole thing was irrelevant and my finally agreeing to commit to something was more than enough for K.

My friends pretended to be weepy and the whimpering noise coming from that side of the room was almost annoying.

It was all over in a matter of minutes – K and I hitched up and all of us starving just ready to hit that all night diner. As we headed toward the door, I looked around and couldnt find Bigs. Just as I was about to ask Sug where she was, she appeared – coming round the corner with the source of that annoying whimpering in her arms.

For about the umpteenth time in the last two days, my mouth dropped open in amazement, shock and surprise. Once again those guys had managed to keep a secret from me.

This is your wedding present from me and Sugar, Bigs indicated. Hope you like him and treat him a little better than the last one you had – like try not to kill him cause we just rescued him from death row.

In her arms was a puppy – a REAL dog puppy – a border collie mix they had purchased at the local dog pound. I was stunned and oh so pleased.

I had it all – – the girl, the house, the ring, the dog and friends I wouldnt trade for anything. I had it all — all except the answer to the question of the mysterious blonde.

Oh my gawd you guys, he is adorable! Only one name for this little guy ,

And the four of us all yelled out in unison — ELVIS!!!

Laughing and happy, I and my wife and friends walked out of the chapel and toward the limo. Bigs, Sug and I all stopped on a dime as we watched K approach Katey the driver who was enjoying a lively conversation with a beautiful blonde – the mystery woman!

You guys, come here. I want you to meet a good friend of mine.

The three of us walked cautiously toward the limo staring impolitely mesmerized by the womans beauty and apparent charm. Shutting our mouths to avoid drooling and insect invasion seemed an impossible task at the moment.

Sierra, I would like you to meet my wife and dog. I extended my hand and Elvis licked her palm.

And if you two would be so kind as to shut your drooping jaws and come here, K instructed Bigs and Sug. Sierra, these or my two good friends, Bigs and Sugar. All of them exchanged hand shakes and hellos.

Sierra, here is a very expensive escort whom I have hired for you two as a thank you gift for making this little mission a success for me as well as for you guys. Shes agreed to make that little three-way fantasy of yours become an oh so real reality. (I cant think of a single friend or casual acquaintance of those twos who didnt know about their fantasy) Now close your mouths, get into the limo and have fun. You have dinner reservations in 20 minutes and then the entire night together at the Bellagio. Katey is yours as well to drive you any where you want to go. Beach and I will grab a cab and see you tomorrow.

Katey opened the door and the three disappeared inside. I caught the wink she gave K and was more grateful than jealous for the first time in my life. K and I stood on the corner in front of the chapel and waved good bye smiling to ourselves just wanting to be a fly on that wall tonight. Our smiles turned to giggles which turned into a full blown laugh fest as our imaginations ran just a little too wild !

It was nearly 2 am but cabs were every where on a Friday night on the Strip in Vegas. We had decided to walk just a little before flagging one down, taking a few minutes to talk. We were strolling arm in arm, me carrying Elvis like a little sack of potatoes on my shoulder. You know, hon, K started, room service is probably going to be our best bet at this hour. Besides, Elvis may not be allowed in any all night diner.

Youre right, I agreed. And maybe after we have something to eat we could put the boy to bed and check the hotel internet service and catch up on some FAN FIC stories.. You could read to me, talk dirty to me, and stir me up a little before we head to the casino for a little gambling. I seem to remember you mentioning something about a casino being on THE LIST. And believe me, babe, there is nothing more I would like than to make you hit the jackpot as you hit the jackpot while standing in front of a slot machine – if you catch my drift.!!

The thought of me standing behind K at a slot machine, my right hand covering hers as she pulls the long, hard handle, my left hand moving rhythmically down the front of her shorts between her thighs, wet and waiting, me whispering words of encouragement and licking her neck and ear as we both hypnotically watch the rolls spin and spin and spin searching for the magic combination was almost an unbearable thought.

Yep, she caught my drift alright and we quickly looked for that cab – secretly hoping the drivers name would be William !!!

The End . . .



Epilogue . . . . The plane ride home was uneventful. K was sleeping, resting her head on my shoulder and Elvis was snoring away in my lap. He fit nicely in my backpack and easily under the seat in front of me during takeoff. Those doggie downers I gave him before we left seemed to have helped him relax. Too bad my double dose of Dramamine didnt have the same effect on me — as usual I couldnt sleep. We decided to fly home since our friends made it clear they did not want to be in the company of newlyweds on a two day road trip. Personally, I think they wanted to avoid the inquisition about their gift package K and I were prepared to unleash during that two day road trip !!

My life is not a happy-ending kinda life – I have to have drama and conflict and doubts or else I would be bored to death. I look forward to the rough times ahead with K – those are the times which will test our relationship. Disaster is not a bad thing – its how you react to it which defines you as a person. I am planning to buckle up in my life with K as I expect a bumpy ride.

I told her before I left that I finally accepted my calling and was giving up the FAN FIC stories — just the writing, not the reading. We all have a purpose (HOOPER DRIVES THE BOAT-CHIEF !!) and mine is to suffer with an addiction to the tales of the authors who have so enthralled me for months making the wait for next seasons show just a little bit more tolerable.

I couldnt give them what they wanted – -a tale of Bette and Tina, or Alice and Dana or Shane and everybody. I couldnt write about the women of L . They thought I was silly – they thought I mocked them (that hurt!) – – they didnt get the jokes or see the irony or hypocrisy — they couldnt tell what was real — they somehow could not feel and suffer the addiction as I did. And I couldnt break their code, or learn their secret hand shake or pass their written test. I couldnt give them what they wanted, so I will take what I need.

I will feed my addiction with their stories and I will continue to search for HER posts. SHE teases me by waiting so long between chapters – SHE has teased me to the point of finding ANOTHER. But there are so many OTHERS that I cant pick one – so I read them all. I will read them more than once and I will laugh and cry and go crazy as they are so good with the cliff (***** !!) hanger thing. I will find time to read them everyday and if I have to – -I will lie about what I am doing because thats what addicts do — guilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor — I wont be held responsible — she was touching her face — I wont be held responsible – she fell in love in the first place. . . . . . .


Its Over . . .