_ChapterO3

`Shane POV_

I kept quiet and let him explain.

“I know I told you one more month-” he began.

“Do you now? Because you’ve been saying the same line for over a fucken year and I believe it every single time!” I snapped.

“You know the drill Shane, we can’t do anything until we have enough evidence to pin him down”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, I don’t want to hear it John, I’ve been doing this for 5 years and I’ve had enough!”

“I know-”

“No, you don’t! You don’t fucken know anything except for the fact that you have to cuff Keilar so you can own a bigger office!”

I was furious, furious that he was fine, acting as if everything was ok. But then again, why wouldn’t he be?

He didn’t have to do all the killing and all the drugs.

I did.

He wasn’t the one with all the battle scars; he wasn’t the one in danger.

I was.

“Shane, listen to me,” he said calmly.

“We’ve got word on Evert and his firearms. We think both Morales and Keilar are going to fight for it. This will be the last thing you do Shane and it’ll all be over”

I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him forward, eyes glaring.

“It better be John or God knows what I’d do with you” I snarled.

Letting go of him, I made to turn.

“That’s no way to talk to your captain” John said evenly.

 I spun around,

“I have every right to do that John Walker!” I yelled,

“Because I don’t know when the fuck they’ll find out I’m a fucken cop trying to bust their ass, I don’t know when one of his people will turn on me to climb the fucken ladder! You don’t know what it’s like! All you have to do is sit in your fucken office and wait for me to give you some shit to work on. You don’t feel dirty after killing someone you don’t even know, you don’t hear the voices in your head telling you what’s right and what’s wrong because it’s all in my head!”

I was on the verge of letting those stubborn salty droplets fall but still resisted and turned to the side, catching my breath back.