“If you don’t stand for yourself… no one else will,” I remembered my mother telling me once.

I wasn’t going to let it end the way she wanted. I was a Porter, after all. I had to stand my ground, go after what I wanted. And I wanted Serena Sutherland.

I went across the small yard once again as soon as I woke up. I was on a mission. I politely knocked on the door and waited. Nothing. There was no movement inside. I shuffled over to the window and peered inside. All looked quiet. Maybe she was asleep. I shrugged assuming that was what it was. I jumped over the banister and walked toward the back. As I climbed the stairs, I noticed a envelope taped to the separating panel.

EVAN, it said.

I peeled it off and looked around. Still no movement. I slid out the paper inside and unfolded it. It was her personalized stationary.

You may think me a punk for doing this but I couldn’t think of any other way. Saying this face to face would have been more heartbreaking for me than you. But it needs to be said… I can’t do this, Evan. Even though I feel in my heart that nothing would feel more right , my head won’t allow me to jump in with both feet. Your relationship with your mother is more important than anything we could ever have. Believe that. I know what it’s like not having a mother to confide in, to share the everyday things with… it hurts not having her there. I don’t want that you. You’ll cry over me for about a week and then forget about me. But you’ll be happy that your mother was there to wipe the tears away. The only thing that I ask…find someone who will be able to be there for you , completely. One more thing..Always love like it’s your first and your last.

Serena

“No, no. She can’t do this to me,” I said to no one.

I held the letter tightly in my hand as I ran down the steps towards the garage. She kept her car in there. The door was closed but didn’t hide a black thunderbird. I kicked the door in anger and screamed.

“She’s not gone! She’s not gone,” I repeated over and over.

I don’t remember how long I sat on the ground crying but the sound of my mother’s voice calling for me broke me of my trance.

*****

“Are you happy now?” I shouted pressing the letter to her chest.

I stomped off to my room.

*****

“What does it say?” my wife asked.

I read the crumpled paper.

“She’s gone.”

( stay tuned for the next episode…)