~~~~~
Summer, 2005 – CAC, Bette’s office, afternoon

Through the opaque divider, Bette watched her father’s shadow shuffle down the hall toward the restroom.

He didn’t even ask why Tina and I broke up. What would her father say if he knew that she turned out just like him? That she betrayed her lover and child?

Ever since Bette was young, she had been complimented on her physicality and allure too often not to use those attributes to her advantage, but she always considered herself a person of value. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, it wasn’t until now that she realized just how blindly she adhered to those so-called values – it caused her to hold onto the hope for her father’s acceptance, it caused her to ignore the growing rift between her and Tina – culminating in the worst possible scenario.

Bette sat and watched the occasional shadow pass by, her thoughts no more clearer than the partition that separated her from the outside.

~~~~~
Fall, 2004 – Bette’s house, night

For the second time that day, Bette sat sobbing in the corner of the shower.

She had turned up the hot water, trying desperately to wash her stinging eyes and cheeks, the bruises and bite marks on her neck, arms and breast. When the water finally went cold, Bette reached up weakly, pawing at the knob until it stopped – gasping and shivering, she staggered to her feet and wrapped herself in a towel.

In the hallway, Bette leaned against the doorframe and took in the disheveled bed, the torn clothing, the open closet. Finally, Bette’s gaze seized upon Tina’s commitment ring on the carpet in the middle of the room and she doubled over, every last ounce of hope escaping her body.

Faithfulness, constancy, devotion, fealty, steadfastness … These were more than words to her: these were principles she adhered to her entire life. Why did I piss it away?

The quietness reverberated throughout the house, echoing the white noise in her head. Unable to stand it any longer, Bette threw on some clothes and grabbed her car keys. Outside, she stared at the space where Tina’s car usually sat before climbing into her Saab.

Hollowness, vacuity, desolation, nullity, abjectness … It was all she felt now, all she could see. Bette started up the engine and wondered to where she was driving – head off the nearest cliff? A bar to get drunk? Go look for Tina?

Instead, she mechanically got out her cell phone and dialed a number; she rubbed her swollen eyes and took a weary breath before hitting the send button.

"Candace. How do I get to your place?"

~~~~~

End Chapter Five of Ten

 [To Tanishaa: Funny you asked about Tina’s reaction to the tape — there were snippets of monologue that I didn’t use.  (I generally tried to keep the "present day" short just as a lead-in.)  All rightie then, per your request, I’ll post a continuation of this chapter after the story is finished.

To Seahurst: I felt this was weak b/c I threw in too many plot points, ie. why Bette removed her ring by episode 2×06, Tina finding out what happened after Bette was told about the pregnancy & after the toast.  Also, Tanishaa, bettyvhall & hawkchick are right: I internalized Tina’s reaction rather than expressing it.  Rather, knowing the exact moment when Bette gave up was what I chose to focus on, and I never felt confident that I did it correctly.

In hindsight, I probably should’ve created an additional chapter, but "Chapter Eleven" didn’t sound all that tasty … Again, I appreciate your points of view very much. — LMG]