Amanda sighed Well then I have something for you.. and she pulled her robe around her and left the table, wandered down the hall into her bedroom and removed a sealed enveloped from under her jewellery box in the top draw.

Amanda walked back to the kitchen wondering whether she was doing the right thing. Six months ago or even one month ago she would not have handed it over, but maybe it was time.

She walked up behind Tina, squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and dropped the letter in her hands. She picked up her granddaughter Cmon Emee, your Mommy needs some time alonelets go find a book to read.

Tina stared at the envelope in her hands; a plain, white, business-sized envelope. The flap was sealed tight and on the front there was no address simply her name Tina Kennard in Bettes handwriting.

She turned it over again looking for a clue as to what it might contain but there was nothing.

Tina placed it on the table and looked at it. She wasnt sure how long it had been in her mothers possession and hadnt even been aware that her mother and Bette had communicated.

She reached out a hand, pulled it back then reached out again.

She was afraid to open the letter; afraid it might tell her there was no point going back and she would finally have to let go and move on. She took a deep breath, picked up the envelope and sliced it open with her knife.

She pulled out the heavy cream paper and unfolded the page. It was handwritten, in Bettes loopy but elegant style. Her eyes were drawn to the date at the top; it was dated the day theyd had the final meeting with their lawyers and all the documents had been signed. The day theyd turned away from each other and finally walked away from their life together.

Tinas hand trembled.

T,

Im not sure that you will ever read this letter but all I can do is hope that one day you will be ready to do so.

I cant tell you how much I regret everything that has happened between us. I look back and its like a huge nightmare. I keep asking myself where we went wrong. I know I was selfish and weak but hopefully if youre reading this youll have realised the cracks in our marriage had formed long before I lifted the axe and split us apart.

I agreed to the separation because it was what you wanted and that matters most to me at the moment. But I want you to know how much I love you and that, whatever happens, I will always love you.

T, I can only assume that since you are reading this letter your heart is telling you to contact me. Its so easy for our heads to talk us out of this stuff so all Im asking of you is to please, just once more, listen to your heart.

Yours forever,
Bette

Tina folded the letter then opened it and re-read it. Did Bette really expect her to believe shed been sitting at home all this time just waiting for her to reconnect?

She thought about everything that had happened since this letter had been written.

Shed left LA very soon after their separation, moving home to look after her mother whod just found out about the cancer. It had been a quick decision, made partly because she needed to get away from her LA life but mostly because she wanted to be there for her mother.

Shed been three months pregnant when she left, not yet showing and having kept it a secret from her friends, wanting to wait until she felt there was no danger of miscarriage before she told them. But once shed left, thered just never been the right time to tell them.

Would Bette really feel the same if she came to meet her, toddler in tow? It was one thing to want to try again as a couple but another to walk into an instant family.

Tina stood up, picked up the letter and put it safely in her pocket. She needed to find her mother and understand how it was that she had the letter.