—–

– I can go change in the bathroom if you want to-

– Shane! It’s okay! you don’t need to go to get changed

– No, it’s fine. I’ll just go and… yeah, uhm I’ll be right back.

And with that she left, leaving in evidence that she was a nervous wreck.

Shane had been acting weird since they decided that it was time to sleep, but what could she do!? Carmen with a tanktop that revealed more than necessary. Carmen spending the night there. Carmen sleeping in Shane’s bed. That was more than Shane could process and it was becoming obvious.

She had never –and literally never- slept with someone before -well, again, just with Alice, but that doesn’t count-. She didn’t like sleepovers! Why was that so hard to understand? Besides, how could it been possible for her to sleep when her heart was racing like a train? And why this was so hard for her? “You’ll just sleep! what’s wrong with you!?” she kept telling to herself.

After noticing she was spending too much time inside the bathroom Shane went to the bedroom where Carmen was already in the bed.  Shane’s eyes looking at everything but her.

– Uhm… I didn’t know which side of the bed you preffered… I can mov-

– No, no. It’s fine. I’ll just-

– Shane. –Carmen said noticing Shane’s strange demeanor-

– It’s fine real-

– Shane!

– What? –And Shane finally looked at Carmen-

– What’s wrong?

– Huh?

– Are you okay?

– Yeah. Yeah. Why? –She said hurriedly-

– You seem nervous…

– What? no! Uhm… anyway I think I better sleep in the couch, so you know, you can have more space and all…

– Shane are you out of your mind? This bed is enormus. Why don’t you tell me what’s the matter?

– Nothing! It’s just that -and she sighed trying to spit the lump in her throat and slow down her own breathing-

– Shane if you wanted me to go you just had to say it. Really. It’s okay. I understand. –Carmen motioned to move. Suddenly Shane panicked don’t liking that idea and hurried to stop her-

– No, no, no, no. I don’t want you to go. It’s just that-that… I’m not used to this. I’ve never done this –Carmen was puzzled- I’ve never slept with anybody… just sleep… I don’t know what is right to do… I just-

– Hey… It’s okay. Come here –and Carmen patted the spot next to her in the bed with a reasuring look-

Shane lay down all the time looking into Carmen’s eyes. Once she was comfortable enough, the latina managed herself to lie in Shane’s shoulder, while took the lanky girl arm and put it around her.

– Is this okay for you? –She said looking up, right into Shane’s eyes-

And Shane was mesmerized at how their bodies fit together. At how great feels to have Carmen beside her, smelling her hair and embracing her.

– Yeah. …It’s perfect. –She said looking down, her own heart beating slower and slower-

– Good night Shane. – Carmen said and it was so tender-

– Good night Carm.

And after that, she could feel her own breathing slowing down aswell as Carmen’s. Minute by minute she could notice Carmen drifting more and more into a deep sleep, and the only thing she could do was watch her. Watch her beautiful features in the dim light of the moon. Watching how calm she seemed, how relaxed and again, how pure. She was like an angel in the devil’s land. She was like a light shining inside a cave.