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Laid Up: Another Season 3–Chapter 25B
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“It’s difficult to look within. What you saw was an outward manifestation of what has been going on inside. That was a breakthrough.”
“I don’t like it,” she said candidly.
Ven. Rajani returned to her pillow and sat, facing Bette again. “You don’t have to like it. You have to learn to let it be a part of your life. It’s living,” she said softly.
Bette shook her head. “No. No. Do you know what I think? I think this. . .” Bette waved her arm around the room, but clearly referring to the entire retreat, “. . . this is a luxury. Life is going on around us, around me and-and I’m not living it.” She shook her head. “I’m looking inward. And what good does it do me? I see my misery, my longing, and the despair I’ve caused others. How does that make me a better person? Frankly, since I’m allowed this time to talk, I’m going to be completely honest with you.”
“Please.”
“I-I like this person,” Bette poked her chest. “I like the person I am. Yes, I’m demanding and often abrupt with others. People see me as a go-getter. I-I get things done. At work for example. . . You know, there was no way a place like the small museum where I worked could ever. . .” Bette used her fingers to point outward with emphasis. “Ever have gotten a show like the exhibition I brought there. It-it was groundbreaking. It was so. . .” She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she gritted her teeth and said, “. . . far beyond what they could have wished for. It was my pushing, my belief in it, and putting my career on the line that brought the show there. I knew what I was doing; I was trained for this work, and knew how to get it. This is my-my métier and I’m good at it. That show made the museum more money and gave it more recognition than it had seen in ten years. Every critic from the LA Times to ArtForum was discussing the California Arts Center as a force. I did that. I brought that. Being driven made that happen. Did my drive cost me the job? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely.” She repeated, “Absolutely.” Bette still bristled when she recalled how the CAC treated her. Despicable bastards. Franklin, you fuck, she thought. She took a deep breath, stared at Ven. Rajani, who maintained her pleasant, ‘at peace’ expression. Bette’s lips tightened and then she said, “What am I supposed to take away from this retreat—that I shouldn’t let my anger drive me? It wouldn’t have gotten done if my anger hadn’t propelled me,” Bette stated emphatically. “Period. That’s how I see myself. What I’ve learned in these two days is that I need to be true to myself. The past few months, I’d forgotten that. Tina and I were estranged and I had to stand back and wait to see if she’d want me again. I got fired and didn’t have time to fight back. I swear, I should have slapped them with the biggest lawsuit they’d ever seen.” She stared out. “My father died.” She paused a long, pregnant pause and she blinked away tears that she could feel pooling. “I thought I was going to lose Tina, too,” Bette whispered. “And Angelica had. . .” She bit her bottom lip and turned away, glanced around the room, gripped her legs just above the knees as she felt the emotions build substantially. “I’m here because I-I have let someone who hates me rule my life. I didn’t fight back. I sat in a courtroom day after day and had every infinitesimal element of my life and how I have lived it dissected before strangers, family, and friends. That shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have allowed it. That isn’t me. That’s what I’ve learned here.” Bette, who had been sitting hyper erect and tense, relaxed her shoulders. She was finished.
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Oh. My. God. That was freaking awesome, but WHO TOOK BABY A?!? Already, it seems like a hours ago that I was laughing at Al and Dane and the armpit licking, and Bette whooping as she left the retreat, and wondering what Carmen was gonna do after she ran out of beers to pour out, and hoping Henry didn’t yell once that EEG showed Tina’s been dodging the pills, and hoping that Steph didn’t get too crazy with the vengeance, and that Hels would hear some news about Dylan and that Peggy would help her daughter track Dylan down, and fanning myself over that call of Bette’s that didn’t quite make it to voicemail, and cheering on Al and Carmen’s rescue of Dana from that Aryan-esque creep-all freaking bloody AWESOME- because all I can think about now is that SOME NUTJOB-Steph? Josh? Marcus?-TOOK ANGELICA! For the love of all things, I so hope you’re posting soon, Portia. But still, this was so good I have to say it thrice, AWESOME! Thank you for the chapter. I literally cannot wait for the next chapter. Cheers
Loved the quote: Gladwell who told a story that a friend of his told him: ‘to a worm in a jar of horseradish, the whole world is horseradish.’ … Glad you’re turning S3 & S4 horseradish into something far more palatable… ;-)
This was beyond belief, every time you post you amaze me, your writing is without fault, exceptional, brilliant, outstanding. My head is swimming…I see the season being what it should have been, thankyou. I know you take a while between posts, obviously it takes time to write…but plspls if you could don’t leave us hanging too long…really it’s going to kill me to wait…but I will, every patiently…THANKYOU PORTIA
Bette’s struggles at the Buddhist retreat, her desperate, heartbreaking attempts to communicate with Tina, that amazing “voicemail,” and all the other storylines are a tour de force, pure and simple. How totally cool to discover that you drew on Ossie Davis’s own words in your wonderfully rich portrayal of Melvin. Missing Baby A, needless to say, is a cliffhanger extraordinaire. A huge thanks for the effort you’ve put into this awesome story.
thanks! the time and effort that must go into this is unbelievable. please know how much i look forward to one of your updates.
What an absolutely brilliant story you continue to weave! I am awed that you are able to develop each character so fully. Loved, loved, loved your description of Bette lost in her memories of their reconnection during the ultrasound and subsequent afternoon delight. So sizzling hot while tender at the same time. Great read, Portia!
oh no, not the baby…what a cliffhanger…please,please keep the baby safe and get bette home asap…great as always
what a chapter… there was so much… stephine is a nut case… henry is at times not all there either… and i’m glad tina is getting better… all those meds… damm… enough is enough… but now to the important part… WHO THE HELL TOOK ANGIE… i hope it was maybe alice or shane and they just turn around with her in their arms… it better not be josh… if it is… well he will be dead in the next chapter… PPS…
First, I must say thank you for this extraordinary chapter. I’ve been home sick for three days and barely able to focus on anything but your 82 pages (damn, 82 pages!) kept me awake and reading. For some reason I had thought that you were finishing this story with this chapter (I don’t know why I thought that) so I was really excited to see that this wasn’t the end. I know how much time and effort it takes to write just two or three pages so I am truly impressed with this magnum opus!!
I’m leaving a comment in advance as there’s no way I can read 82 pages right now. FUCKING AWESOME! I didn’t even have to read the chapter to know that. lol
Wow!That was awesome! by far this is the longest psot I have ever reading! If your not thinking about a book please do so. You have some awesome talent!!! As for Baby, the suspects were set-up perfectly! Stephanie, Josh, Marcus. But you know I somepoint I had a feeling this would happen and for some reason I had Theresa as the perptrator! Can’t wait for the next chapter!
Amazing, this chapter was just amazing the journeys you take us on in Bette’s memory are priceless. The advice her father gave her to the different expereinces between her parents have all been such amazing insight. Excellent. I just needed to tell you what an awesome job you’ve done. Thanks for writing it.
i can’t wait for the next chapter either this story is the bomb i enjoy stories that includes most of the gang..the arm licking was funny, weird but i thought it was cute lol :) grrrrrrreat work you do danish so well!!!
Fabulous! Please don’t let anything happen to Angelica, especially cuz her mama B is on her way home. I don’t know how either women could cope without her. Bring Dylan back for poor Helena. And tell Carmen to get that stick out of her butt :). Love, love, loved it! Can’t wait for more! Thanks Portia