It’s so thrilling but oh so wrong. Don’t have to prove that you are so strong. ‘Cause I can carry you on my back after our enemies attack. I tried to tell you before you left but I was screaming under my breath. You are the only thing that makes sense. So just ignore all this present tense.

Snow Patrol: It’s Beginning to Get to Me

If I am going to tell my story I guess I should start from the beginning.

It’s hard to believe the downward spiral that is my life now considering a year and a half ago my life seemed perfect. My, father, the successful partner at Philadelphia’s top law firm, my mother, his blond haired, blue eyed trophy wife and me, the prodigal daughter on the road to the ivy league. From the outside of our suburban three story home one would think we had it made. Hell, I thought we had it made but pictures can be deceiving and as my mother taught me: a smile can be the best disguise.

The night I realized my happy family wasn’t so happy was the same night as my junior prom. I went with my best friend Chris because he seemed to be the only guy I felt comfortable around. Never mind or rather due to the fact that he was flaming. Anyway, around one in the morning the limo dropped me off at my door. I’d already noticed the absence of my father’s car in the driveway. Another late night at the office was my only thought. The house was completely dark when I walked in. I found this a little strange because my mother usually left the kitchen light on when she knew I would be late. I figured she must have forgotten until I saw the faint light coming from the backyard.

“Mommy,” I shouted. No one answered so I walked outside and saw her sitting by the pool with a drink. I could tell she’d been out there for a while because the wine bottle beside her was nearly empty and tears had left pale streaks down her cheeks. “Mommy,” I said over the lump that had developed in my throat. Noticing me for the first time, she said, “Lizzie, baby, how was your dance?” the last part of her question was almost unrecognizable through her sobs.