Tina Kennard had not slept with anyone in fourteen months, three weeks, and five days.

She knew because she’d marked the last disappointing encounter on her kitchen calendar with a tiny red X, the same way she used to mark ovulation days when she still pretended she wanted a baby with Eric.

The X had become a tombstone.

Now it was just another Friday night, and she was sitting on Alice’s overstuffed couch in Silver Lake, barefoot, wineglass trembling against her bottom lip while Alice scrolled through her phone with the enthusiasm of a woman who had never once in her life been disappointed by sex.

“You need to get laid, T,” Alice said, not looking up. “Like, professionally laid.”

“I’m fine,” Tina lied.

“You’re clenched so tight I’m worried your jaw is going to seize and you’ll have to eat through a straw. Look, I’m not saying you have to fall in love. I’m saying you need someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing to take you apart, piece by piece, until you remember you have a body.”

Tina laughed, but it came out brittle. “I date. I’ve dated.”

“You’ve dated finance bros who think missionary under the ceiling fan is adventurous. I’m talking about someone who will ruin you for vanilla forever.”

Alice finally glanced up, eyes glittering. She turned her phone around.

The website was black, minimalist, and expensive-looking. One photograph dominated the landing page: a woman in a tailored charcoal suit, white shirt open at the throat, one hand braced on a leather wingback chair. Her face was half in shadow, but the line of her jaw and the authority in her posture made Tina’s breath snag.

Mistress Bette Porter
Exclusive. Discreet. Unforgiving.

Below, in elegant serif: First-time clients welcome. Safe word required.

Tina’s mouth went dry. “Alice.”

“She’s the best in L.A.,” Alice said, softer now, like she actually cared. “She’s safe, she’s sane, she’s impossibly hot, and she doesn’t do sleepy investment bankers who call her ‘Mommy’ by accident. She’ll read you like a book and then burn the pages while you watch.”

“I’m not… I’ve never been with a woman.”

“I know.” Alice’s smile turned gentle and wicked at once. “That’s what makes it perfect. No history. No baggage. Just you, on your knees, finally letting someone else be in charge for once in your goddamn life.”