They had returned from breakfast, gotten some drinks, and went to sit out by the pool. They had been sitting there for about a half-hour, and Bette still had not said anything.

Tina started, Bette, you better start talking soon, or else we will be here all night. We are not leaving until we talk this through!

Tina, I dont think I like this. You have decided that we have to talk, whether I am ready to or not. My car is at my apartment, so unless I call someone for a ride, I am stuck here. Do you think that insisting upon talking is going to solve anything?

Tinas eyes exploded with anger, but it was a controlled anger.

First of all Bette, I dont give a fat ***** if you like this or not! I can guarantee you that I did not like finding out that you had a mistress! I also did not like the fact that when I went to talk to you, I found you getting your brains fucked out by said mistress! And I certainly dont like the fact that you seem to think it is alright to just leave me hanging, not knowing what is going on with us, while you continue your affair!

Second of all, dont even think about calling for a ride, because I already left messages for everyone and they will not be coming to your rescue. I know you wont call a taxi! And dont think you can call Candace to come get you, because she and I had dinner last night, and I dont think she likes you very much anymore.

And last, but not least, yes, I do think this will solve something. You will either ***** or get off the pot, because I am giving you the chance to explain to me exactly what is going on in that so-called brain of yours! And whether you tell me anything or not, I will know where I go from here. You either respect me enough to level with me and tell me what I want to know, or you dont. Either option you take will speak volumes as far as what I need to know to go forward in my life.

Bette stared in awe at Tina and said, What do you mean you had dinner last night with Candace?

Is that the only ***** thing you heard out of everything I just said? And does that upset you because I had dinner with her, or because she had dinner with me? Tina asked.

I heard everything you said Tina. Why would you have dinner with her?

Well Bette, I do believe you are jealous! The question is, of whom? Do you want Candace? Do you love her?

Bette looked at Tina with shock in her eyes. I do not love her, or want her. I told you that all those weeks ago. I love you! I made a huge mistake with her. Why did you have dinner with her?

Tina replied, Because I wanted to. It turns out Candace isnt the person I thought she was. She is actually very sincere, honest and up front when you talk to her. I actually think I might like her.

Bette wondered just who the ***** this woman sitting in front of her was. She wasnt any Tina that Bette knew. She just might like the woman who had an affair with her wife? Had an alien come down and abducted Tina and left this stranger in her place?

Tina, are you serious? Bette finally asked.

As a heart attack Bette. So start answering my questions!

~~~

Tinas POV

Did she really think that? That she had to be strong for me and couldnt let me help her in the grieving process for our child? I know the control freak she is. Did she really think she had lost control of everything? I knew she was having problems at work, but to think she was going to lose her job and not be able to provide for our financial support? Why couldnt she tell me? I knew the problems were bad, but to actually think I wouldnt consider her feelings? Ok, maybe I did buy that birthing tank and do some things that were a little self-centered. But she knew I loved her, didnt she? Things had been a little strained for the last couple of years, but I didnt only want to make love when we were trying to conceive the baby, did I? We made love at other times, right?

Even as I thought it, I knew it wasnt true. I had pulled away from her. We didnt make love just to make love anymore. I had become obsessed with trying to conceive. Yes, I took care of things around the house, but had I really taken care of Bette emotionally? I had felt so lost, I just didnt consider that she had also felt lost. I hadnt realized how much blame I had to shoulder for our break-up.

But the cheating! I dont care how lost she was, how much control she had lost, nothing condones the fact that she went outside of our marriage for *****!

~~~

Bettes POV

Why hadnt I been able to tell Tina all these things before? Why had I sacrificed our marriage, instead of just letting down my damn walls and telling the woman I loved, all the doubts that were in my mind? Because I always had to be in control, always had to be the one with a solution, even when there wasnt a solution. Because I could control the problems, take care of Tina, take care of the CAC, take care of everything while actually taking care of nothing! Instead, I was destroying everything I loved and needed, everything that meant anything to me.

Once I started talking, it all came out, all the worries, all the pain and heartache, all the doubts. Too little too late Porter! Maybe if you could have said all these things prior to self-destructing with Candace, you could have prevented all of this. You might still have your wife and your marriage.

Now comes the really hard part!

~~~

I gave up so soon because I knew I had ruined everything. I didnt have a snowballs chance in ***** of repairing what I did to our relationship. ***** Tina, after that night and the way I acted, how could I ever get you back? That was total disrespect! I tried to force you to have ***** with me! Even though you gave in, you were so angry that I knew you really didnt want to! So I didnt deserved you. Why should I keep bothering you, begging you to forgive me, when I couldnt forgive myself? I used Candace to try and make myself believe that I didnt need you. It didnt work Tee. I only hated myself more. And when you walked in on us, I truly despised myself for the pain I had once again caused you, the agony I saw in your eyes. Do you know that I took it out on Candace? Like it was her fault that I was so ***** weak! I wasnt fair to either of you. I regret what I did to her, but I will never forgive what I did to you.

As far as not wanting our marriage anymore, nothing could be further from the truth. I dont deserve our marriage, and you dont deserve having to be with me. I cant ask you to forgive what I did. I cant make it up to you. The only thing I can do is release you from our marriage so you can find the love that you deserve. Maybe I can, in some way, do something that is right and unselfish. God knows that would be a refreshing change.

And not living in the house? I cant. I see you everywhere, with the love in your eyes that I will never see again. I see every precious memory in every corner of this house. I see what I was too stupid to realize was all I ever wanted or needed. I hear your voice flowing over me in soft sultry tones, feel the caress of your fingers with every breeze that passes through the room, and know that it is just my imagination. That I will never again hear that voice murmuring those loving words, that I will never feel the soft hands that can bring me to ecstasy by just gently touching me, and that I will never again taste those lips that take my breath away with the softest kisses.

Bette was in tears by this time. She had finally said everything that she had been holding in. She had tried to honestly answer every one of Tinas questions, and she was emotionally exhausted.

So Tina, have you heard everything you needed to hear? Will you please take me to my apartment now?

Tinas quiet response came back, No.