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    fairyland (VI)

     

     

    Se was cold, chilling. Caressing her bare arm Bette noticed how, in her sleep, she was trembling.

    “Im sorryI dont know what to do I really dontits justI dont knowI cant remember when everything went wrongI thought we were okAngelica was fine, Tina tooshe said she wanted to move in againand she didand.

     

    Shouting a sob, Bette cleaned the tears that were quietly running down her cheeks.

     

    ”  I really thought we were okI was happyI lost my job I knowbut they were homethe baby was greatyou know how great she isfrom the beginning shes been great, not a bad night not even the first night when Tina was still in the hospital and I had to take care of everythingshe made everything easy, like she knew how to take care of mefunny, eh?…I knowyou all were of great help like when Shane tried to wash her… that was cute dont you think?…she is goodshe is.”

     

    Turning the light off, Bette covered the bare arms. Holding the pale thin hand in hers she continued.

     

    “she doesnt know how good she isI think is a giftit just comes natural with herand thenTina came homeat first it was strangewas like walking over eggsI I didnt know what to door dont doI wanted her to be happybutshe wasntshe didnt look happyyou think she looked happy?… right you cant tell meshe didnt look happyI thought it was post partum depressionbut”

     

    Leaning backwards on the chair, resting the eyes on the shadows covering the blue wall, Bette sighed before continuing.

     

    “.we stop having sexit was hardI was so happy that she was homeI wanted to make love to herIItriedbut it was like she wasnt thereit seemed as if she wasnt even missing itand and then I thoughtits just a phasewe will get over thisbut thenshe started talking about money, and the adoption and the futureandand

     

    and then youwhat am I gonna do?…III dont know what to doI “

     

    Moving closer again, Bette started caressing the long thin fingers.

     

    “IIm not good at thisI dont know what to say, what to doI want to run, to disappearto stop and thinkI need to think, to processI..I slept with Barbara..”

     

    Bette said resting the forehead on the bed to cry.

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    Comments

    1. i hope it’s not candace she went to see…hmmm, it’s all so sad, especially bette’s conversation with dana, she should tell all of that to tina

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