I sense her flinch. And I have to smile. She’s probably having one of those nightmares again. I pull her close and wrap my arms around her. Blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh. I feel her relax against me and I know that I have won the battle. There shall be no whimpers, flailing arms nor tears tonight. I kiss the top of her head and sigh. She’s so like her…with her golden skin, pert nose, and shock of raven black hair—and her weird nightmares.

Maybe if I didn’t leave that night…maybe she wouldn’t be just my daughter. Maybe she’d be our daughter. Maybe. But there’s no sense in thinking about the past right now. There’s no use in thinking about the might-have-beens, the should-have-dones. I snuggle a bit closer and drift off to sleep.

=======================================================

“It’s just who I am. I know you know what I’m talking about.”

I stand there dumbfounded. He’s walked out on me again. Walked out on his family. On Carla, on Shay, on me. What great timing my father has. It’s just about three hours to my wedding and he leaves for a roll in the hay with some blonde chick he managed to pick up.

For a moment, I wonder if I am so like him that I’d leave Carmen ten years down the line for some hot piece of ass. I shake my head. That’s just absurd. I’m not my father. We may be alike but we are not one and the same. I know I’ve done a lot of pretty fucked up things. But I deserve this shot at happiness. I’m worthy of a life together with Carmen. I head back to my room to think about what just happened. I need to clear my head. I need to prepare.