[OBSESSION: a persistent idea or preoccupation which haunts and possesses the mind-often associated with mental illness]


It is said that the sense of smell is the strongest of the five, the one which elicits and triggers the most intense memories and emotions one has experienced. — both positive and negative. The aroma of a favorite meal — the lingering scent of a lovers perfume . In my case right now it definitely was a positive feeling – one of peace and tranquility – a feeling of humility at witnessing one of natures awesome wonders.

Those are the feelings which washed over me every time I my toes felt the soft grain of a sandy beach, any beach any where. The sound of water lapping the shore line, the haunting cry of a lone seagull, the warmth of the midday sun, and that smell, that smell, that smell of Coppertone mixed with sun-induced sweat were the most overwhelming and intoxicating sensations I have ever enjoyed.

And that smell and those feelings were washing me clean, right now, completely immersing me in their invitation to imbibe.. . . I thought I was in heaven and there is no way I could resist and be denied.

I wasnt quite sure where I was or how I go there, and the blinding bright light surrounding me kept me from figuring that out as well. I could feel the presence of others and noticed shadows and outlines of bodies as they passed by me, but I was unable to distinguish any discernible features –unable to tell who was who. Until I saw HER, (NO you reading morons NOT THAT HER) that unmistakable long, dark, wavy hair, that tall, tanned, fit and trim body, that undeniable white tank top exposing just a fraction of that lean flat stomach. SHE was very much in control – directing people like a seasoned traffic cop, answering questions with that encyclopedic mind and offering advise and comfort as no other could. SHE was hot, so ***** hot and I was drawn to HER.

I walked toward HER in what seemed like slow motion – I could feel my body move but I felt as if I were not moving at all. I could feel the sand beneath my bare feet, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the smell of the salty ocean air that smell of Coppertone SPF 8, the sound of the gulls – but oddly enough I could see no water, no water of any kind any where. Whatever was going on with me in this place might be a mystery to me, but I was certain that SHE could help me, that SHE held the answer to any question I had, that SHE would quell any fear I felt. I just kept walking, so drawn to HER, so wanting to be near HER, so knowing it was HER, it just had to be HER.

As I approached HER, I heard HER talking with an old woman, touching her head and her cheek as SHE spoke. It was a language with which I was not familiar but I understood HER every word. Words of encouragement, words of praise, words of thanks SHE bestowed on the aged woman, telling the woman how much she had meant to those around her, telling her how much her work and her love had made a difference in the lives of those she had encountered. The old woman cried and shook her head in denial claiming she was a sinner, a failure, a disappointment to all who knew her.
No, no true, SHE told the old woman. You know what you did and you know what I told you to do over the years. You are so deserving to come join me. Dry your eyes and let me show you your reward for a job, a life well done.

I watched in amazement and silent revelry as several white clad people approached the old woman, gave her a group hug, then escorted her away all laughing and joking with the woman, holding her hand, touching her arm, patting her back. The bright and blinding light kept me from seeing where they were headed, so I turned my attention back to HER and my desire to see HER, to speak with HER.

SHE was still surrounded by throngs of people, but as I neared, SHE turned and HER attention was all mine, SHE was all mine.

Beach, nice to see you, SHE said as she took my hand between HER two. You look great. and I swear I was beginning to melt away like a water-logged wicked witch. Youre early, you know. I think you may have misread the invitation.

Hey Bette, I thought that was you. God, its nice to finally meet you, I said to HER as calm as could be, like I had known HER all my life. What do you mean, what invitation? I asked completely clueless. If Im not supposed to be here, then where ?


TBC . . .