The crinkling of the paper, the thick powdery feel of the lead from the pencil covering the page. Through tears struck eyes I struggle to read it, “I didn’t want to do the whole made up vow thing, but you did, and today’s your day and I want everything to be perfect for you. I’m not very good at letting people in; I always kept them at a distance so I wouldn’t be hurt and so I wouldn’t hurt them. They all said that if I didn’t start to let myself feel I would become a psychopath that I wouldn’t be anything more than what I was. I had my heart broken once, and it hurt but not as much as it did not being with you. You are the only person who I want to keep close, that I want to tell just what it is that I feel. The only problem is that I don’t know how to say it; I can only say I love but that doesn’t seem like enough. I can say that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that I will take care of you no matter what happens. I just don’t know if saying I love you is enough…so I promise that every morning I will say it with a kiss, every night I will say it when I hold you in my arms. That in every time I look at you it will be there and just so you know I’ll say it anytime you want. I love you.”

“Hey Carm what are you doing up there?”

____________________________________________________________________________________

My eyes heavy with sleep, my muscles tense the pain in my stomach nothing more than a dull ache. The white room filled with light from the windows, and I’m more than happy to say good-bye. The sound of my footsteps echoing off the corridor walls, matched with an odd groan from a poor lost soul. Minutes away from seeing her and I feel like I’m going to collapse, walking past the rec room where cartoons are playing way too loud. I stop waiting to sign what ever it is that I have to so I can leave with my girl…there eyes burning holes throughout my body.

“So you finally ready to go home?” Betty’s voice making them looks away, “I thought I would never get rid of you.”

“Yeah well I just want to get the hell out of here.” she hands me a clip board with a list and an x at the bottom, my hand shakes a little as I sign it.

“well someone’s waiting for you in the waiting room so you better hurry up and get your ass out of here.” the clip board is gone before I can lift the pen from it, I drop the pen and waving my good bye I walked as fast as I can to get to her.

The heavy glass door opening into a darkly coloured room filled with blue and red couches, looking frantically for her. Instead I find one of the last people I ever thought I would see here.

“Hello Shane.”

TBC