CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

“I’ve been thinking, a lot. I think you should take up on Dereks offer.”

Bette looked confused. She clearly hadn’t expected this. “So you would give up on your life here?”

Tina took a deep breath. “I didn’t say that. I think you should go to New York and I should stay in New Haven.” Tina saw what she had expected to see: a panicky and distressed Bette. “Now listen to me, baby. This doesn’t have to be the end of our wonderful relationship.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I think I am right in assuming our love for each other is very strong. It’ll survive this distance if we keep working on it, if we keep believing in it.”

“If our love is so strong and you so desperately want me to take this job in New York, then why can’t you come with me?”

“Because I just… I don’t want to leave everything behind again. I left for college when my dad had just died and I felt so guilty for not supporting my mother. Yes, they were divorced, but he was still the father of her children and the man she had shared a lot of years of her life with. Anyway, my mom said it’d only make her unhappier if I wouldn’t pursue my dream. She told me how my father wouldn’t have wanted me to stay at home. So, I went. I’m just telling you this to show you that I understand how important it is that you can chase your dreams and take that road that brings you to that one thing you’ve always wanted. Had I stayed at home with my mom then, I might have never become a teacher. I might have never left her if I hadn’t that first year. And I’m so glad that I did go to LA, because that was indeed what my dad would’ve wanted. This is similar – I don’t want you to stay in New Haven only to be with me. Life is bigger than me alone.”

“I know that, but you are a very important part of my life, the part that I can’t live without.”

“And I will find it very hard to be apart from you as well, but I settled here. I have friends, colleagues, a nice job, until recently my girlfriend right here with me. It’s not that I’m old, I’m only trying to lead a steady life. I like a challenge every now and then, but most of the girls that were in school with me will probably have children already and I’m still moving around all the time.”