Chapter Eighteen

“I’m just confused as hell, Shane,” Bette confessed.

It had been a while since she had seen Shane, but she wouldn’t say that they had grown apart. They still called each other and they still filled each other in, just not as much as they used to.

“I mean, it’s so damn hard. She’s so close, all the time, and she shows interest in me which is totally insane because she’s probably got tons of other things to do. I don’t know if I can do this for another year, be around her, be so close yet so far away. It’s killing me. And then at the end of the evening, what was that supposed to mean? I don’t even remember who leaned in to who, but why didn’t she pull away?”

“Obvious,” Shane sighed. “I’m sorry Bette, but sometimes you’re so naïve. She’s so clearly interested in you – she talks to you during her holidays, agrees to meet you for dinner! Would she do that if she couldn’t care less? And then you guys come so close to a kiss and well, it’s pretty clear to me that she wanted it to happen as well.”

“But why would she love me?”

“Why did Emily love you?”

“She said I was passionate and creative, sweet and caring, my smile lit up the entire room and I was an incredible writer, stuff like that. It’s not like any of it is true.”

“Then why would she say it? Emily’s a beautiful girl to whom a lot of people are attracted and she chose you. She wouldn’t do that if you were the biggest nimrod walking this Earth now, would she?”

“Anyway,” Bette changed the subject from her to ms Kennard. “It’s not like anything could happen. If anyone finds out about this, it would bring her in a difficult position.”

“She’s risking it for you.”

Bette went on, pretending not to hear Shane. “And even if the impossible would happen and we would have a relationship, it would have to be hidden from everyone. Can I do that to her? Can I even make her happy? She’s older, she wants different stuff, expects other things in life… I want to make her happy, but I don’t if I can.”