Fan Fiction
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Breathe– Chapter 27
He checked his watch again. Normally he would have left 20 minutes ago to make sure he got his hands on the Night Final right as it went in to the box. Once the newsprint left the humid confines of the processing plant, the ink would dry in a matter of minutes so he liked to be the first one to put a quarter in the machine.
It also gave him quite a rush to know that his eyes were the first in a city of over a million people to read about his work.
He’d sit in a Starbucks, or maybe on a bench at Westlake Center and just watch women read his news.
You could always tell when their eyes found him. You could see the darkness come across their face, their heads shaking slightly as if they were unable to comprehend the horror.
As their eyes played over the words he had inspired, a hand might move to cover their mouth or protect their neck or chest and finally they would be so disturbed they would need to share the news with others.
He found this to be a consistent and predictable part of the human character. In a delicious twist, the sadder the news, the more horrific and violent the crime, the more they needed to share the impact of that news with someone next them.
He loved the randomness of choosing his victims. Knowing that one decision she had made that day had sealed her fate. He knew she would always be blond. He knew she would always have dark eyes and he knew she would always draw her last breath at his hand.
His first story had been truly random. She just happened to frequent the same coffee cart he did each morning and he had watched and waited, studied and learned.
He learned how to follow without being seen. He learned to blend in, to become part of the backdrop of her city without her ever knowing. He talked to her numerous times, but was so forgettable he moved freely in and out of her circle plotting her very demise.
And as the words on the written page captured the beauty of their time together, he would let each story play a role in choosing the next. It might be sitting on a park bench, or a seat on a Metro bus, or at a table at Pike Street Market, but she would finally find him and discuss his workno his art.
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(54 votes, average: 3.93 out of 5)
Yikes, creepy!
Whew! Talk about giving me the chills….this did it. Hopefully the next chapter will not be about this psychopath.
hmm so what does he do for a living??
I was wondering if he is a cop or something?? seems to be well educated on the ways of not leaving a trace at the crime scene. So which one does he hate his mom or wife?? LOL
HE IS AS PSYCHOPAATH, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadoes he just hate blond women or aany woman. Never fear ,Bette Porter will catch that nut. at first he though the stecth looked like him. then not. Where does he worrrrrrrrk, and he does have a darkroon. Thanks
YOU MAKE THAT GUY SEEM SO CREEPY….HIS POOR WIFE…..GREAT JOB SOX YOU SURE GAVE ME THE CHILLS….
Sox, Another Super Fantabulous Update (now I am inventing words to describe your talent, LOL). Now that I have exhaled (as I hold my breath when I read this story), let me share my thoughts and feelings.
1. I am hurt and troubled that this weirdo would be watching our girls share an intimate moment. Shouldn’t he have been off doing something, anything else!
2. I am relieved to know that he is cocky enough to not ‘see’ his likeness in the sketch and descriptions of his ‘work.’ Ego will bring his time to an end (hopefully quickly).
3. I know it happens in reality, but it is troubling to know this guy has a family who is oblivious to his activities.
4. Bette should really retire or take a really long break after this. She will need an extended recovery time. The intensity of her new love, fear and stress; as well as the weight of having your personal life made so public can be heavy for anyone, even our Bette. Maybe she can just relocate and begin anew or become a lecturer who gets drawn back into solving crimes, or better yet a profiler. Ok, ok I am getting a little too involved here, let me stop myself (smile).
Carry on with your tale, I am enjoying it immensely.
OMG.Sox…how do you write like this. Amazing. I am home by myself, it’s daylight, and I had to get up and make sure my doors were locked. Fuck. guess I’m bit of a chicken. I can’t wait for the next post and I definitely can’t wait for Bette or Tina to kill him.
I’m so very happy to know you’re the “fairly positive “glass half full” kind of girl” : something priceless to fight against adversity.
You know, for me I cannot help but feeling myself genuinly touched by any personal stuff from authors like you who bring me daily reading’s joys here. And I don’t mean the simple pleasure to read enjoyable stories – they are so numerous – but above all the deep pleasure to read stories that make me think a lot and/or that truly touched my heart – they aren’t so numerous this time.
In a way, favorite authors of mine here are close to me because I’m feeling grateful for all what they gave to me as a reader and also for the way I feel to have a certain view of their sensibilities and way to think through what they choiced to write – and above all how they wrote it.
That’s why all I said to you came from the bottom of my heart – and it will always be. The day you could bring us some good news will be a genuine relief for me.
Well, I just wanted to add that after having read your new wonderful author’s note, that’s all.
You’re so right : who cares about chapters’ shortness or lenghth ? Only appropriate rhythm is requested in the pursuit of quality – and not quantity.
Like excellents short stories can be better and more powerful than thick novels !
At last, I also fully agree : sometimes we do live with “whackos”. One only needs to remember how smiling and nice looked Ted Bundy, for exemple, to understand how evil can have a “normal” face ! It would be sooo comfortable to believe that monsters like your killer should have the face of their unspeakable crimes… In my own country, the worst pervert killer we ever had has the perfect boy-next-door face, nothing special at all. He could have been your obviously innocent neighbour ! And that’s a true frightening fact to be conscious about : to know how deceptive appearances can be… (Something my alltime favorite psychological stories’ writer never stopped to think and work about : that’s a quite fascinating and timeless theme indeed…)
And to end with the “personal stuff” : I’m quite delighted to know you’re also a night-bird like me, loving moonlight time ! I always felt it’s the most inspiring and sensible moment of the day… That’s also my main and favorite “reading time”, by the way… like now !
************
This new journey in the killer’s mind was the most intense and fascinating you ever gave to us : a true masterpiece… All my admiration for the subtle and realistic way you depicted and analysed his way to think, his way to feel, also through a lot of so significant details.
As you said in your note, here’s the most perfect example of boy-next-door serial killer ! A common life, with wife and son, something perfectly innocent and, yes, absolutely beyond suspicion.
“It also gave him quite a rush to know that his eyes were the first in a city of over a million people to read about his work.” So typical from this kind of killer’s deep feelings of superiority : I’m a genius, I’m an artist, admire my work, audience ! That’s where our smart Bette was right : such arrogant megalomaniac feels more and more confident and contemptuous, ready for the fatal mistake. I’m a genius, detectives are stupid and never will be able to find me !
Their increasing confidence and pride are their big flaw and weakness – thanks god !
My goodness ! No doubt this photo our crazy guy is so proud about had to be taken during Bette and Tina’s first love making, in the park at night ? This man is as gifted as dangerous, one must says… That’s now or never that we’ll need a hearted-crime reporter indeed ! (*wink*) God, if such a photo would have to be published…
No doubt our killer is more than ever motivated, with such an ideal target…
I also wonder if, by chance, his unfortunated wife wouldn’t be a blonde too ? A way to kill again and again this “neither clever nor funny” woman he obviously despises a lot without never being able to really erase from his life… It’s so easier to blindly kill unknown women that to kill his own wife, hmm ? The typical coward indeed…
We can also wonderfully understand now how much our killer finds a relieving way to escape from his common domestic life, creating a much more thrilling life through what he thinks to be artful and admirable : his killer’s “work”. The only way he found not to stay in the invisible crowd anymore but beyond everybody – and above all beyond all possible authorities. The city’s master !
Brrr ! This “Sticks and stones may break your bones” way to keep his nervous control recalls me the so famous “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” in The Shining… Great !
All my sincere thanks for all the talent you share with us. Really I mean it.
God, if you wouldn’t win any award next time, it would be no justice at all !!
And, please, don’t forget what I said to you : think about to become a published author. You have the stuff of a novelist. I also mean it.
I feel bad for his wife and son! :) You’re so good at this!!! Thank you
Yikes. that was sure scary. can you get any better than this. what a freak. but we knew that he was. i thought that he was married. it reminds me of copy cat. loved that movie. wow bette is on the attack. this was so good. thanks again. give it to us when you can.
Wow this guy is creepy!!! PLEASE update soon.
Okat Sox. . .that was a little too creepy for me. Hah, please post again soon! And just for future references . ..there is no killing of Bette or Tina allowed in FF. Haha, just in case you were going to have a crazy fight between creepy and them. . haha, okay I’ll shut up now!
ugh . what a chapter . this guy is out of his mind … i’m holding my breath.
Awesome chapter Sox–right when the story seemed to be slowing in its intensity, you spring this chapter in and heighten the mystery. Excellent storyteller you are.
He’s way creepy — and married, ugh. Great job writing inside his head.
The only thing keeping me going is knowing that he is no match for Det. Bette Porter.
Thanks for the new chapter.
Yikes! I know he is someone they are already know or something..
What an excellent, excellent story. I feel honored to be reading it for free on our wonderful fan fic site, when this should be a mystery novel on a store shelf! I know we all really appreciate your time and wonderful talent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sox – Thank you for your post and for continuing to give time to this story as part of your very full life. I appreciate your crafting this story and also helping us with your notes.
I’m thinkig this guy did not know Bette previously so he’s not a cop but maybe some kind of photojournalist able to get access to crime scenes. I don’t know but you sure have me guessing. and the bit with the wife really creepy indeed.
Sox,
I hope that life is a little brighter for you and your family; that your shoulders have eased as the burden of support is lightened and that you can take support and comfort from this out pouring of genuine kindness and emotion.
In this chapter you have excelled yourself. The insight in this deranged and distorted individual has blown me out of the water.
How?
By showing just how “normal” this person is.
It is true that we all hope that this psychopath would stick out a mile in general company however as your marvelous masterpiece shows they look just like you and me on the outside.
More often that not, they are the least likely, the least expected to commit this heinous crime.
Unfortunately what is on the inside is hidden and masked. Only time and action reveal it to us all.
I am completely astounded and amazed by this awesome addition.
You have balanced the piece perfectly with the darkness against the routine dialogue of a husband and wife.
Scary stuff.
Thank you for continuing this story during a time of personal upheaval. It brings such pleasure to us all.
Your Loyal Fan.
Eerie, alright! What a sicko. Now it’s a test to see who’s better at what they do. The good guy, or woman, in this case? Or the bad guy?
If it’s your intent to creep us out when you write from this guy’s point of view – you did a great job! I have ‘chicken skin’!
I have to admit – I was a bit shocked to learn that he is married! I now wonder if his wife is blond? mmmmmm
Can’t wait for the next post…
Thanks and I hope all is well with your Dad.
It never ceases to amaze me how you can capture the essence of human existence. The way that you allow us to see that when we discover the ugliness or horror that another human being can inflict, we do reach out to others to find comfort in that shared experience. Brilliant.
Did I detect a slight fissure in his armor of self-confidence when he questioned whether or not Bette was really capable of stopping him?
His arrogance that he can move about freely could be another tremor in his house of cards as well.
Your killer’s POV is quite chilling. I find my palms sweating and I hunch closer to my computer screen as if to protect myself. I exhale with great force when you have finished a particularly vivid insight…releasing a breath that I was unware I was holding. Most intense.
I’m wondering if his wife won’t say something about the killer that sets him off to get an even bigger story as if to prove something to her.
I have no idea where you are going to take us next, but I am willingly being held captive. Great story.
This is one nasty man!
Eerieeeeeeeeeeee….!
He give me the willies!!!!! post soon
Deepen into your story more and more like drug addiction. I’m not a good reader, I hardly commented but please keep in mind that I’m one of your faithful readers and really appreciate your effort of writing stuff making us happy reading and hope it’ll never end. Thanks for writing.
Great update, very creepy.
What a psycho?! I read this twice. I didn’t really mean to, at first I thought that it was a new post, then I just got caught up in psycho’s mind when I realized that I had read it. I am eagerly awaiting your next installment. I found myself reading Skipton’s “6 Months” trying to get my Bette and Tina fix. It was really good. But Skipton is no Sox1.
That baster is crazy!