Chapter 4.


Dinner had been a rather subdued affair. An air of silence prevailed between mother and daughter. Occasionally Bette would just stare at her Angelica, hoping to see her little girl, the one she recognised from just a few short months ago. On the other side of the table, Angelica kept her head down, focused on getting through her meal as quickly as possible and escaping back to the sanctuary of her bedroom.

An hour and a half later, Bette sat back on the lounge, quite music playing in the back ground as she sipped on her white wine whilst contemplating life. Her own childhood had been a mass of chaos and drama. Her mother Maxine had been a rather eccentric woman, or so people thought. She had been a famous artist, with her works appearing in Galleries throughout the world. Her father Melvin had put his career as an Investment Banker on hold as he travelled with his wife, soaking up the fame and fortune that career entitled them. After years of traveling and working Maxine discovered she was pregnant at age thirty five. Melvin was thrilled. He already had one daughter from a previous marriage that he saw little of, the thought of having a another one who would live with him and be part of his life was a dream come true. Unfortunately his wife did not share his view on this unexpected pregnancy with the same enthusiasm! Maxine had never shown any interest in having children, her life was her art, it was the pinnacle of who she was. In her eyes she would be nothing but a mother and housewife if it had not been for her talent. Playing families had never been a consideration for this career driven woman.

Within months of Bette’s birth, it became obvious to those close to the Porter’s that Maxine’s behaviour and personality changed dramatically. She had failed miserably in bonding with her daughter, preferring to spend time locked away in the attic for hours whilst nannies cared for the young infant. Melvin had returned to work and for quite sometime he was oblivious to his wife’s ignorance toward there child. He was certainly aware of her odd behaviour, but it took one particular incident that would forever change Bette’s life.

Like most mornings, Melvin would sit with his wife and gorgeous daughter and have breakfast before work. He loved this time with Bette. She was nearly two years old and though Maxine had completely withdrawn from the world, Melvin could only see his precious child, who smiled, laughed and played, oblivious to her non existent mother. On this particular morning Melvin had to leave early. He would never leave Bette alone with Maxine, there was always her nanny. Though the nanny was running late on this particular day, Melvin left anyhow knowing that there were other staff throughout the house who could watch is daughter momentarily.

Stepping off the elevator and walking toward his office, Melvin was shocked to see his secretary running toward him frantically.

“Mr Porter, Mr Porter, you have to go quickly. The hospital, Bette your daughter has been rushed to hospital.” Was all the woman managed to get out breathlessly.

In those few seconds, Melvin’s world stood still. He dropped his brief case as the blood drained from his face. Before he even could register his daughter’s predicament, the first and only word that fell from his mouth was “Maxine.” With the help of staff around him, he managed to pull himself together, get the name of the hospital and left the building with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Thirty minutes later, Melvin found himself pacing the hall of the hospital as he waited on word of his young child. Obviously with the families money and prestige, the little girl was in the hands of the best doctors in the state of New York. He was also waiting on the arrival of his butler, Morris, who had apparently been the one to find Bette’s little crumpled body and called for help.

“Melvin” Dr Wiseman smiled and held out his hand as he approached the well known figure.

Oh Jack, God how is she, what happened, can I see her?” Melvin pleaded, returning the handshake.

The doctor motioned his hand toward the seats, suggesting that Melvin sit so they could talk.

“Melvin, Bette is okay. She is a very lucky little girl. She has a few contusions, some requiring sutures and she has a minor fracture to her left arm.”

Before the doctor could continue, Melvin dropped his head into his hands and gently cried tears of relief. He honestly thought that whatever had happened, had left Bette possibly fighting for her life, particularly when his mind wandered to his wife and the lack of affection she had for her own child.

“Jack, do you know what happened?” Melvin asked as he raised his head and quickly wiped away any tears.

“I don’t have the full story, but I believed she fell down the staircase. Look Melvin she is a tough kid. I have seen that staircase of yours and it is a wonder she isn’t suffering some kind of severe head trauma or even worse not being here with us at all.” Jack explained.

Those very words jolted Melvin from his thoughts, he stood up and looking at Jack, demanded to see his precious little girl.

Melvin walked into the room first, stopping dead in his tracks as he eyed his little baby. She was in a small bed with sides protecting her from falling. Her little body looked so bruised and battered, there were so many wires and tubes connected to her and machines making all kinds of noise. He turned to look at Jack, anger written across his face.

“I thought you said she was not too bad. Jesus, look at her. What are all these machines? Is she in a coma or something?” Melvin asked, tears welling in his eyes.

“Melvin you are a good friend, I’m not lying, she is fine. Yes her injuries look pretty bad, but it is mostly bruising and swelling. She is only hooked up to all these monitors as it is easier for us to monitor her vitals regularly instead of having to wake and distress her constantly. Melvin it is quite normal in our treatment of children as young as Bette. They are too small to understand and they are already distressed and frightened by there surroundings.” Jack explained as he gave his friend a reassuring tap on the back.

After spending hours by his little girls broken body, Melvin returned home. He had thought long and hard before Bette’s accident, but now his mind was made up. He needed to leave Maxine or have her leave. Either way, he could not subject this child to this woman any longer. From the day she had given birth to Bette, Maxine seemed disconnected from her child and that would eventually spread to every aspect of her life. The once famous artist was now a recluse, locked up in her mansion and in her own head.

On returning home, Melvin was overcome with emotion when he could see the remnants of blood that seemed to start from nearly the top of the large staircase, right to the very bottom. Obviously the staff had done their best to clean up, but it would require professionals to remove blood from carpet.

Slowly he made his way up the staircase, unable to not look down, taking in every blood stain. For a moment he contemplated going to Maxine’s room, but for some reason he was drawn to the attic where she spent most of her days and nights. When he opened the door, he knew his wife was not there, it was dark. He reached for the light switch and made his way up the stairs. Upon reaching the top and looking around, his hand flew to his mouth as if to stop the sound of his horror. The paintings scattered around the large room, were nothing like the once beautiful work his wife had become famous for. Here in front of him, was a form of art, but it was so dark and tormenting. His eyes fell upon two particular paintings. He looked at the date and signature below. They looked as if the had been done around the time of Bette’s birth. They were beautiful paintings of a child in her mothers loving and protective arms, surrounded by light. Both mother and child looked adoringly into each others eyes. Tears streamed down Melvin’s face as he took in the now vandalised and disfigured paintings. One had been taken to with a sharp instrument, particularly focusing on the angelic child, whilst the other had a variety of paints thrown at it, making it difficult to see what laid beneath.

Bette sighed as she poured the last of her wine into her glass. She has no real memories of her mother. She had very vivid memories of the day she fell down the stairs. Her memories were very clear after her release from hospital and her returning home. Her mother was gone! All traces of her mother in there large home had been removed, it was as if she had never existed. But the young Bette was unfazed and continued on happily, after all her mother had barely existed in her life up until that time.

Over the years and into her teens, she would often have nightmares of a woman pushing her down the stairs. Whenever she would try to talk to Melvin about it, he would dismiss her, saying they were just dreams, “Something we all have Bette.” he would often say.

It would be years later after she left home for college that she would learn more of her mother and find out that her so called dreams, were all reality. At nineteen, Bette finally tracked down her half sister Kit. It wasn’t too hard for Bette to find her. The thirty year old Kit Porter was becoming a well known singing sensation on Broadway. Though there first meeting was very awkward, it wasn’t long before they had developed a loving sisterly bond. Bette had kept this a secret from her father as she knew he had no contact with Kit since he had walked out on her and her mother when Kit was eight years old.

Although they were related, Bette was shocked at what her sister knew of her life considering they had never met. Kit was able to enlighten Bette on the missing pieces of her life regarding her mother. Melvin had always refused to discuss Maxine and it had always troubled Bette that her father seemed to genuinely hate her mother.

It would be months into Bette and Kit’s new relationship, before the young brunette felt comfortable enough to share the nightmare that had haunted her life. Kit knew that revealing what she knew, would not only be devastating to Bette but possibly put a strain on her relationship with Melvin. But the older sister believed Bette was entitled to know the truth about her mother. To be a girl and grow up without a mother was difficult enough, but the young brunette had so many conflicting stories about Maxine, that it was detrimental to her growing as a person and finding happiness in her own life.

Sadly one Sunday afternoon the newly acquainted sisters sat and talked for hours. Many tears were shed and a lot of anger toward both her mother and father dominated the conversation. Kit try to defend Melvin, explaining that he had only ever wanted to protect Bette and whether the brunette wanted to accept it or not, she needed protecting from her mother. The one revelation that would scar Bette to this very day, the one that had haunted her life, was that the accident she had at two, it had been caused by her mother pushing her down the stairs! Though she always held suspicions that this was the case, having it confirmed was devastating for Bette. Kit went on to explain how her mother had changed after her birth and that Bette’s accident was the final straw for Melvin. He had thrown her out of the house without a second thought. She was wealthy in her own right, she would be fine or this is how Melvin reconciled his decision.

Bette spent years trying to discuss Maxine with Melvin, hoping that she could track her down one day and just seek the questions and answers that she had longed to hear from her mother. It was never to be, after many years and a lot of money spent she had failed to find her mother, Bette eventually gave up.

To all her friends and Kit it was quite a shock, when at thirty Bette informed them that she wanted a baby. Firstly this was the woman who couldn’t make a commitment to a relationship, this was the woman who loved the attention of all women, this was the woman that people thought would go down in history as the greatest lesbian player of all time.

So on her own, Bette sought out a donor and eventually Angelica made her way into the hearts and lives of her mother and there close knit family. Bette had never admitted to anyone that she feared her mothers behaviour, her fall in to a mental abyss, could possibly be hereditary. Had it been bought on by the birth of Bette or had she just reached an age that this genetic disease decided to take her life and that of her family? Without any knowledge of Maxine’s past, Bette never really knew if any of it was based on her mothers medical history, yet it haunted her. It was apart of the reason that she chose to have Angelica at thirty. In her mind being younger than Maxine had been giving birth for the first time, may just reduce the odds! Eleven years later, she still lived with the fear of the unknown, believing that one day she could become Maxine. As she took that last mouthful of wine, tears spilled down her face as she contemplated Angelica having a mother just like her own.