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Blue Bayou #15 – Touch Tones – The L Word
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A man shouts, ”Alligator! Over there!”
And I steer the boat in a wide arc around the deadly, ancient looking reptile, and know absolutely that, ”’Til death do us part,” is not something I want to vow on my wedding day.
”Mother, I’m thinking of eloping.” I call to her over my shoulder.
”Your friends would kill you.”
”But you haven’t even met my friends.”
”But would Tina go? Short elopement, if she didn’t show.” Mother holds up her sketch of the alligator for my opinion, and spots the angst on my face. ”What’s the problem?”
”How’d you know about My Red Mist, Mother?”
Bette’s flashback –
When my mother never came home from ’the hospital’, and my father told me she had died, I remember smelling a lie on him that afternoon. But there was a funeral and many people came to our house and one day, I believed I could hear her between the stations on my radio.
I snatch a tear away from my eye. ”I tried so hard to hear you, Mother. Goddammit! I was so angry with you for leaving.”
”I wish I could have raised you.” She strokes me, calms me down. ”You’re my daughter. I would’ve done anything, anything to be with you, but they would’ve found us, and killed us both a long time ago.”
”Do you have it, too?”
”Have what, Bette, regrets? Of course, I do. Thousands of them, on everyone of your birthdays I missed.”
”No, this fucking anger that’s nearly ruined my life.” I stop for a moment, as I hear the truth. ”I have a terrible kind of rage inside me.”
”Your damn father did this to you.”
”Partly, but I’m not going to blame him for all of it, Mother. I can’t.”
”He kept us apart. He lied to you that I was dead, and forced me to abandon you, or risk everyone’s life!”
”The killers kept us apart. The lies everyone had to tell.” I turn the boat deeper into the swamp.
”I want the peace of mind to look out over this beautiful place, and not know it was me, who grabbed a woman by the throat and wanted to strangle her.”
My mother puts her arm around my waist. ”And that you’d do it all over again?”
”I think you know the answer.” I force a smile.
”For years, decades really, when the marshals said, ”Move!” I moved. Sometimes, I just barely I had a home after I left you. So, trust me, I understand what seething anger is.”
”I thought I was getting better.” I shake my head, sorry for myself.
”I bet Tina tells you this, in so many words all the time.” She takes my face gently in her hands and looks me in the eye. ”But maybe, you’ll hear this coming from me.”
I begin to laugh. ”What do you think Tina tells me all the time?”
”Perhaps, that whatever hurt and madness you may have, she loves you anyway.” She kisses me on the cheek. ”We all do.”
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More on Bette’s bayou adventure in a story that will be appearing soon. I hope you enjoyed the tale! Blackbird
Thanks to Jacky at LesFan for hosting these stories here.
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I love your stories BB and the way you write them but there is no doubt that the brilliant pictures make them very special.
Look forward to reading and seeing more of Bette’s Bayou Adventures soon.
As a filmmaker I write to picture, and here I can happily populate my stories with them as further entertainment for you.
I do wonder though – what’s in that bug spray?
Blackbird
Stupid question maybe, but do you mean by Red Mist, the deep anger, hidden in most peoples heart? The anger that can consume you if you don’t do something about it, before you hurt yourself or other people, like Bette almost choked that woman.
But Bette’s mother is right, she and Tina will love her anyway, with or without her hurt and sometimes madness.
Most people fight their demons and come out stronger than ever, sadly that is not always the case.
Great update!
Stupid question maybe, but do you mean by Red Mist, the deep anger, hidden in most peoples heart? The anger that can consume you if you don’t do something about it, before you hurt yourself or other people, like Bette almost choked that woman.
But Bette’s mother is right, she and Tina will love her anyway, with or without her hurt and sometimes madness.
Most people fight their demons and come out stronger than ever, sadly that is not always the case, not everyone is able to find their innerpeace and live their life in total harmony. You need to live your life the best you can, what makes you feel satisfied and good about yourself and to others. Life is not simply, but give it all your best and don’t give up.
Great update!
Bibi, Yes, by showing us the knife wound, followed by the comment about Bette’s knife fight, then her question to her mother about revenge, and her mother pointedly asking, “You saw the red mist, didn’t you? When you had that woman by the throat,” The Red Mist is the sub-text of this story, and is definitely about the devastating effects of Bette’s anger.
The primordial setting of this story, in a place that appears to be removed from evolution, inhabited by symbols for our human reptilian brain, our amygdala, further underscores the conversation about ghosts trapped between two worlds, causing Bette to think about her own restless spirits and finally her confession/realization.
In her flashback to her childhood dreams, we get a chilling feeling of her desperate loneliness – when she believed her mother was trying to reach her in the static between the stations of her radio – if only she hear her mother’s voice again. That futility turned inward became a deep rage, fueled by a lie she never truly believed.
Bette, as written in the On Air series, was a character with a lot of impatience, denial, and explosive anger. By bringing her mother back into the story, in my envisioning of Season 7, I’ve given Bette not only the source of her rage, but the path out of it.
The mother character embodies a feminine archetype that goes far, far back into human history, and she appears first over a thousand years ago as Durga, a warrior who fought alongside Kali in fierce battles against demons. Kali, represents pure rage, and the ancient, unevolved reptilian brain that sits at the base of our craniums, and informs our limbic system. But Durga is the archetype in Buddhism and earlier in Hinduism, of Fierce Compassion. This is where I’m pointing us as who Bette’s mother is, and who Bette might become with more consciousness: Mindful of her rage, and focusing it in ‘right action’, no longer blindly striking out.
In the Christian Church, Fierce Compassion, is an archangel with a tremendous sword (Justice), and is a great being who will cut the heads, arms and legs off anything that threatens the purest parts of who and what she is devoted to protect.
To me, and from your comment I believe you agree, romantic love alone will not resolve Bette’s inner demons.
Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting!
Blackbird
Thank you for explaining your motives and inspiration for this incredible story!
Nice update BB!
trying to leave ya a comment but sure it won’t work. i like this story and i love drama so bring it on.
I so love this Bette and Tina. Bette’s mother is a hoot too. Thanks
Via email to me –
Comment: Ah, Bird, I think this was a favorite chapter. There was just something special about the way you wrote the emotions in this one, and the special connection between Bette and Mary that exists between mother and child in spite of all the years of distance and separation between them.
I love the ‘T’ stitched into Bette abs, a little memory for her.
The red mist that appears within most of us at times… and how we learn to tame it. To me it seems that Bette has matured quite a bit as she acknowledges it’s existence within her and takes responsibility for its appearance. The fact that it bothers her to me shows that she is taming it.
I loved the way you wrote about Mary’s articles self. It was heartfelt. Her way of being with Bette is so loving. I love it.
I love Nellie’s character and the way she explains God to the boy.
Great chapter my friend! Thank you!
bearski
buggs666
Submitted on 2015/09/05 at 10:59 am
Wrote:: Trying to leave ya a comment but sure it won’t work. i like this story and i love drama so bring it on.
Thank you darling! I have spoken sometimes of their
work in writing this seventh season
virtual, giving a wonderful version of our series,
and turn it at the same time a source of culture, talking
Hindu goddesses “Durga and Kali”, was fantastic
comparison and significance of Durga, you’re done with Bette’s mother.
And I am an admirer of your photos are great! because in my
spare time I am shooting.
The complete constellation.
THE RED MIST is this the hurt and betrayal that BETTE is feeling towards her mother or father for haqving lied to her when she was younger?Is BETTE’s mother really hiding from the mob still?WHY all this cloak and dagger stuff when she should just tell her.A lot of mystery surrounds the mother and her friends.thanks
” By bringing her mother back into the story, in my envisioning of Season 7, I’ve given Bette not only the source of her rage, but the path out of it.” How lucky Bette is! She gets a chance to see her mother and ultimately improve her life. People that lose one or both of their parents a a young age are not so fortunate and wander through life ,sometimes successfully, but often with this large hole in their hearts that’s never filled..They are completely unaware of the root cause and are constantly seeking that unconditional love of a parent that no one else can give -leading to so much angst and emotional garbage.
I absolutely love your writing. It’s so thought provoking. I had a conversation recently about death and dying and the fate of the “soul” when the physical body ceases. Having held the hands of a number of people, some ‘good’ others not so great, as they draw that last breath, I hope I was the recipient of some of their goodness! But who is to say.? That probably only happens in the movies ,right?
My personal ‘Red Mist’??? Sometimes I can tame it, but awareness is key. Maybe if I had Bette’s Boots,…please keep writing! Thank you!
I wish to thank everyone for their comments, both short and more revealing! I’m excited this story touched many of your own personal experiences, thoughts, and musings. Thank you for sharing with me, and all the readers who pass by here.
A few stories back is, “Radar Love” (http://bit.ly/LesRadarLove) #9 in Touch Tones, and it just received a comment from Kiwipit. What she said brought back to me how I set up Bette’s emotions, and the cracks that appear in “Blue Bayou” in “Radar Love’s” curiously metaphysical opening. If you have 4 minutes, you won’t be disappointed by reading Bette’s thoughts again, as she stares at the ceiling that early morning in Santa Fe.
The day before that opening morning scene in “Radar Love” is in the story titled, “Blood Moon Rising.” In “Blood Moon,” Tina reveals her own early life trauma to Mary Windhorse, and sets up the sequence in “Countdown”.
Many of you, and quite obviously me included, are intrigued with Bette Porter – a woman of previous high heel shoe towering fame – now in cowboy boots. It’s pretty clear that these aren’t just any cowboy boots. These have ‘changed’ Bette, haven’t they?
The night that Bette arrives in Santa Fe is #8 in Touch Tones’ story, “Flexibility” when Bette gets her cowboy boots, and has her adventure with the snakes in the canyon. That was a story I had a wonderful time writing.
Naturally, Bette’s mother had interesting plans for her that night, as she always does.
I won’t edge too close to Robert Frost, and say that Bette’s road is “the one less traveled by.” For me, that’s an overly used trope for the brambles of self discovery. What I hear for Bette, when I listen to my writer’s voice on the subject, are the strains of Grace Slick’s psychedelically infused, “White Rabbit”, drawing me back to wonder about looking glasses and hookah-smoking caterpillars and finding myself thankful that Bette has ‘magical’ boots to wear on her journey.
Blackbird
Name: ssgogo93
Via email to me:
Comment: I love the way you paint a rich scene with such compact, yet colorful and humorous dialogue. No wasted words between characters, only those needed to convey the story line, and at the same time adding depth and richness to each character. In a short exchange between mother and daughter, I was reminded so much about Bette’s childhood and the demons that still haunt her. Well done Blackbird.
Name: Lillian May
Via email to me –
Comment: It was important to bring back Bette’s mother; she is the cause of Bette’s Red Mist; so she can guide Bette out of this mist into a world of mediation to deal with frustrations. Is the boots like the red shoes; tap 3 times & make a wish…like a security blanket…like how you brought them into the story line. Anxious to see where the ghost will play a part of this story frame. Brilliant having the wound stitched with the letter T for Tina; instead of a tattoo so to speak. Love the no nonsense depth of each character. Anxiously awaiting for the next chapter…