Alice paced around the townhouse, mumbling.  “I can’t believe she went to Helena.  *****.  You know it’s bad if we’re inviting ***** Helena into this.  I’ve known Tina almost 10 years and we’re bringing in a stranger to help her.  Shane’s making a deal with the Devil.”

Dana watched, knowing better than to interrupt.  Alice had been like this for hours, and there was no use trying to reason with her.  This rant had to run its course, and then the two of them could have a real conversation.  Until then, nothing Dana said would make one bit of difference.

“Although maybe this is just the kick in the ***** Bette needs.  Nothing like inserting Helena into the picture to make you sit up and take notice,” Alice said.  “But,” she added, pausing in mid-stride.  “If Helena comes riding in on her imported thoroughbred charger and saves the day, it might end up alienating Bette even more.  Then she’ll move to ***** Seattle for sure.”

Alice plopped down next to Dana on the sofa.  “This is all…  I don’t even know what this is.”

“I miss her,” Dana finally said.

“What?”  Alice asked, pulled out of her thoughts.

“I miss Angelica.  She was magical, you know?  Like, a little oasis of something really, really special.  I loved holding her while she slept.  Watching her eyes move.  Do you think babies dream?”

Alice smiled sadly.  “I guess so.  But what would they dream about?”

“Bottles.  Stuffed animals.  Their mommies.  Maybe that’s what it’s like for her now.  One big, long dream.  That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?”  Dana mused.

“No.  That doesn’t sound bad at all.  I wouldn’t mind that myself,” Alice said, reaching for Dana’s hand and interlocking their fingers.

“What would you dream about, if you were having a dream that would last forever?”

“You,” Alice said, leaning in to kiss Dana’s temple.

Helena sat in her car outside the apartment building, staring up at Tina’s window.   Her knuckles were white, and she forced herself to loosen her grip on the leather steering wheel.  She was surprised at the level of anxiety coursing through her body.  This was Tina, after all.  They knew each other.  They had been lovers.  Helena even believed they were friends.  But perhaps she had merely been a convenience, after all.  A resting place on Tina’s journey back to Bette.

“Oh stop it,” Helena said softly, forcing her mind to cease its churning.  Her endless loop of questions wasn’t doing her a bit of good.  And, ultimately, this visit really had nothing to do with her.  This was about Tina.  

Shane had painted a very desperate picture, and Helena‘s heart ached all over again with the thought of what Tina had been through.  She even found herself feeling sympathy for Bette, though she believed Bette’s current behavior to be simply inexcusable.  It was clear to Helena that Shane felt the same way, though Shane had stopped short of actually admitting that.

But again, Helena reminded herself, this was about Tina.  Not Bette.  Tina, whose loveliness and gentleness and kindness had compelled Helena from the moment they met.  “You poor, sweet Darling,” Helena said to herself, getting out of the car.

Tina wanted that baby so much, and she was so eager to embrace motherhood.  In the time they were together, Helena had allowed herself to hope that she, too, would be part of Angelica’s life.  If not as a co-parent, then as an aunt, or a trusted and dear friend.  But now, that candle had been snuffed out.  And Helena never even got the chance to meet the child she had felt moving deep in her mother’s womb.     

Helena took a deep breath and tapped lightly on Tina’s door.  She had absolutely no idea how Tina was going to react to seeing her.  Maybe it was just as possible that she would be greeted with a slap in the face as a welcoming embrace.  But when Tina opened the door, and Helena saw the anguish in her one-time lover’s eyes, she didn’t wait for a reaction.  Instead, Helena drew Tina close, holding her as tenderly as she once had, all those many months ago, and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”