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    A Life I Never Meant Chapter Fourteen

    “Tina, it’s OK. I understand that you can’t go back to the house, but it’s been so good having you back here again. I just don’t want that time to end so soon. Where is Alice, by the way. Can the two of you not come to see me together?”

    “She’s actually at the gallery. It’s the first time that she’s been to see it and I know that she’s trying to make the most of the time that she has with Bette.”

    “Aren’t you a little intrigued to see what Bette’s gallery is like. It really is a beautiful building, and Bette has put countless hours into making it a success.”

    “I went to see it.” I say, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.”

    “When? Tina, you didn’t tell me you were planning to do that.”

    “I wasn’t planning on it. It just kind of happened. I went yesterday when I knew that Bette was at The Planet with Alice. When Bette went to work for the CAC I always missed the old gallery so I had to see it with my own eyes, and you’re right. It is beautiful, and so Bette.

    “Did James not see you?”

    “No, I know it was risky, but once I made up my mind that I was going to go there wasn’t anything that was going to change it.”

    “It will be good for Bette, to be able to talk to Alice again. She even said that she felt happy earlier, and it’s a long time since I heard her say that.”

    “I want her to be happy.”

    “Because it makes it easier for you.” asks Shane, fixing me with a stare.

    “Yeah, I think some of it is because it will be easier for me. I don’t think that makes me a very good person, wanting someone else’s happiness for my own selfish purposes. There is part of me that wants her to have the best out of life just because she deserves it.”

    “I still think that you should talk to her, before you go back. I can’t say that it’s going to be easy but if you decide that Ally really is the woman that you want to be with then don’t you at least owe Bette the chance to get some kind of resolution, so that you can both move on.”

    Comments

    1. Love is not about Safe…..is exactly the opposite, you gamble a part of your life everytime you make a decision, you can win or you can loose,but when you win, OMFG….And I don´t think Ally would like to be with Tina because she is the “safer” choice. This is a wonderfull history, thank you very much for sharing it with us. a humble reader and loyal fan.

    2. The option is to love whom you love or who loves you. Everyone has different reason to choose. And, I feel sorry to say this: Tina, forget Ally, she is great, but Bette is the one.

    3. The entire damn mess makes sense to me now thru Tina’s (your) commentary.I like how you have the anvil not falling too hard on either of their heads. Reflective honesty. If she truly can’t get passed”working so hard that the quicksand won’t happen again” then Tina really should let Bette go”. Carnage is a harsh term but if Tina truly feels that way she’s better off playing it “safe” with Ally. Poor Ally. Bette deserves a fresh start and Tina at this point seems seriously Bette fatigued. Tho i can’t tell if she’s being pragmatic or just tired of thinking about it. What are you doing tonight? More please…. This fwas an excellent chapter in a great story. Sue

    4. I suppose I can forgive Tina’s avoidance of Bette on this occasion. Moments like that can be quite a jolt. But she needs to get her shit together and talk to Bette, just like Shane was saying.

    5. Your story is amazing – the pace the wanting and the fear of rejection and taking the wrong path – just awesome how you are laying it all out. and letting Alice be wise is a stroke of genius – life seasons people and loss and you have written this really well. Thank you for sharing your figts with us.

    6. So sorry – that’s sharing your GIFTS – your wonderful marvelous writing with us- the phone rang as I was typing and I jumped sky high and just hit send . Again, thanks

    7. I think Ally will leave Tina whether Tina chooses her or not, cause this is a make or break deal. Ally knows this that’s why she is puching for tina to talk to Bette. Ally is a smart girl and knows that Tina is more safe with her than anything else. Ally does not strike me as the type to “settle” on being a safe choice with anyone. Tina needs to stop being a pussy and just talk to Bette. Bette needs to get off the “woe is me” express and step back into reality and talk to tina. Still don’t want a Tibette reunion but who knows I may change my mind. Post soon!

    8. i understand why tina wants to keep it safe but this is not what love is all about..i hope talking to bette will help her to see that she and bette belong together

    9. Safe is not always what it is cracked up to be. If Tina stays with Ally that safe will turn into longing and then depression. You can already tell that Tina is scared because just one look and she is already beginning to unravel. I already get the impression that Bette desperately wants Tina back and hope that Tina will eventually want to return to Bette. Do I get to dream so that my tibette heart still has the chance to beat strongly again.

    10. So, Tina will use Alice/Dana as her justification for staying. So, the return ticket is already bought. Tina always has a back channel, back burner going, doesn’t she? Does Ally know what she is getting into? I think it is patently clear which way Shane wants this to go. Whether it will, it remains to be seen, and that’s the beauty of your fanfic. Thanks!

    11. If Tina returns to NY before talking to Bette, whatever that outcome may be, she’ll never get the closure she thinks she may have by escaping back to her girlfriend. Wonderful dialogue between Shane and Tina. Looking forward to the next chapter.

    12. I’m so enjoying your thoughtful, intelligent approach to this story. It’s truly heart-wrenching to read but always leaves me anxious to read your next chapter. Thanks for sharing it!

    13. Please don’t let anything be wrong with Shane. That wince of pain was far too ominous. Love your writing and cannot wait to read your telling of B&T’s reunion (B&T together forever PLEASE :)). Great chapter, thanks city

    14. I echo what others have said about being “safe.” If I wanted to be “safe,” I would have never admitted to myself that I’m gay and I’d still be in a relationship with a guy who makes watching paint dry on a wall sound like fun. It’s great to feel safe when you find the one and know they’d never intentionally hurt you, but playing it safe is bad.

    15. I’m jumping on the bandwagon that Tina NEEDS to talk with Bette. Its obvious she still has felings for me Bette that is why she is ducking and diving. They both need to love each other like they never been hurt; put it out in the open and wipe the slate clean. Nobody wants to be with someone just to say you have someone- there needs to be love and a connection, not just some safety blanket b/c you’re afraid you’re heart will be broken again.

    16. This is killing me, Tina soo Belongs to Bette and she could never go back to Ally as she will always think what if, please make her see sense

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