The next morning, Tina woke to an empty bed. She immediately sat up, looking around for Bette. Seeing the bathroom door closed, but light escaping from beneath it, she let out a sigh of relief knowing where she was.

She laid back down on the bed, snippets of their conversation from last night flooding her brain. She had a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. Nervousness? Is that what Im feeling? she questioned.

Bette had revealed so much to her since she had arrived in New York, and it was a little frightening. To see Bette in so much obvious pain, pain that Tina hadnt even known that she had been living with, scared her. How could I have missed all of that? she asked herself, her hand absentmindedly playing with her hair as she stared at the ceiling. You would have thought that we had been living in two totally different homes the way that we seemed to be connecting with each otheror in this case, not connecting she sadly thought.

She knew that the nervousness that she was currently feeling was caused by a fear of Bette pulling away from her. Over the course of their lives together, she knew that when Bette ever gave as much of herself as she had done the night before, her immediate reaction was to retreat back into the shell in which she had resided, seeking the safety that the shell provided instead of risking living outside of it, operating without the hard coating to fend off what life threw at her not being an option.

But she didnt retreat yesterday thought Tina, and the conversation the night before had been just as difficult. The changes that she has made are becoming too many to keep up with she wryly thought.

The sound of the shower being turned on pulled her out of her thoughts. Forward motion thought Tina, forward motion.

She pushed the blanket aside and swung her legs off of the bed. She took off the top that she had been sleeping in and slowly dropped it on to the bed. She then untied the drawstring that held up her pajama bottoms, loosening it enough to slide the light material over hips. After stepping out of them, she bent down, picking them up and placed them on her t-shirt. She stood up, running her hands lightly over her now completely nude body and after taking a deep breath, started to walk towards the bathroom door.

Forward motion she reminded herself, forward motion.




Bette had woken after a dreamless nights sleep. She did not remember a recent time that she had slept as hard as she had the night before. God she thought to herself as she just laid in bed, I dont even remember falling asleep

I should go to the gym she said to herself, ***** it she thought, Ill just go ahead and get up and get to the gallery a little early today. The gym can wait.

She pushed the blanket aside and just then did she realize that she had slept on top of the covers. She looked over at Tina and saw that she had done the same thing.

Jesus she thought. These conversations are draining.

She pulled the blanket back up on Tina, leaning over to gently kiss her on her forehead. She watched Tina sleeping and wondered if she had slept peacefully during the night.

I hope that were doing the right thing for each other Bette whispered as she softly ran her fingertips down her arm, lightly resting them on her hand.

Are we T? she whispered.

Neither expecting nor receiving an answer, she took one last look at her and then gently got out of the bed, making every effort to not disturb Tina.

She made her way to the bathroom and quietly closed the bathroom door behind her before turning on a light. She took off the pants and unfastened bra that she had slept in the night before and stood there in the middle of the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and was surprised to see that the effect of her tears from the night before was not as bad as she would have thought.

I sure as ***** cant wait to get through all of this she said softly as she peered into the mirror. I am aging in what feels like dog years, every morning, picking up another seven years

She took a deep breath, turned away from the mirror and headed for the shower. She turned the water on, waiting for it to reach the desired temperature. Once there, she stepped in, closing the glass door behind here.

Oh God she moaned out loud as she felt the hard jets of water pounding her being. She turned her body around so that her back was to the stream of water, allowing it to beat into her muscle and fiber. She put her palms against the wall of the shower, bracing herself against the steady flow of water. So transfixed was Bette on letting the water remove some of the remnants from the last couple of nights, that she did not hear the shower door opening. What she did hear was the sound of it softly closing and a quick rush of cool air.

She quickly turned to see Tina standing there in front of her, completely nude, just watching Bette.

Tina whispered Bette frantically, moving as far back in the shower as room would allow. What are you doing she weakly asked, feebly trying to cover herself with her hands.

Tina watched Bette. She looked almost like a wild animal that knew that it was about to be caught. She never allowed her eyes to leave Bettes, even though they were dying to take in the sight of her beautiful body completely there for her to see.

Baby, calm down said Tina softly as she started to move towards Bette.

Bette saw Tina coming towards her and didnt know what to do.

T she weakly said, Iwere not

Shhh said Tina as she finally stood directly in front of Bette, the water now cascading over the two of them.

Bette was holding her arms in front of herself, hands grasping at her own neck in protection. Tina reached up and with both hands, reached for hers, pulling them down from the defensive position that they were in and just held them in hers, in between the two of them.

She continued to look Bette directly in the eye, waiting for her to calm down. She could see that some of the terror that had been in her eyes before was beginning to dissipate, the pulse that had been visibly throbbing at her neck, slowing as well.

T started Bette.

Baby, no, not right now she said as she reached up and placed a finger gently across her lips to quiet her.

She let go of her hands, and placed her own on Bettes waist. She slightly tugged Bette towards her and what little space had been between them, vanished.

She moved her hands from her waist to her shoulders, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck in order to pull her completely into her body.

Bette hesitantly put her hands on Tinas waist and then allowed herself to put her arms around her, hugging Tina back just as intensely.

Tina smiled into Bettes shoulder, happy that she was no longer fighting her. It was just then that she allowed her body to feel all of the naked parts of Bette that she was in contact with. She felt their thighs pressed against each other, Bettes pubic bone pressing into her own, their bare ***** meeting together for the first time in ages.

A slight shiver ran through Tina and Bette automatically tightened her hold.

Tina ran her hands up and down Bettes back, allowing them to cup and hold the cheeks of her rear end. As she drew them back up, dragging her nails across the expanse of her back, this time it was Bettes turn to shudder.

She loosened her hold on Bette temporarily to allow herself to step back a bit, looking her dead in the eyes.

I need to see you Bette she softly said.

Having no response, Bette just dropped her eyes to the shower floor, suddenly mesmerized by the water circling around the drain between their feet just before it fell through.

Bette said Tina, her eyes watching every move that Bette was making.

Bette she repeated, gently lifting her chin so that Bette was looking at her.

Baby, we need each other. I need to see you, all of you, and I need to feel youall of you she added.

T whispered Bette. I cant, not yet she said in a tone that begged for forgiveness.

Even through the water of the shower, Tina could see the tears and fear building up in Bettes eyes.

No, baby, thats not what I mean said Tina as she reached for Bette to take her in her arms.

I know that youre not ready, baby, its ok she softly reassured her. Shhh, its ok she continued to say to her, running her hands up and down her back.

Baby? whispered Tina directly into Bettes ear.

What? replied Bette in an unsure tone.

I need you to do me a favor

What? asked Bette, pulling back from Tina so that she could see what she was asking.

Tina kept her arms tightly placed around Bettes neck, fingers massaging her scalp, and with her eyes searching deeply into Bettes, said, I need you to trust me.

Bette did not reply, not really sure what to say.

Can you do that, baby? Can you trust me? eyes continuing to try and read Bettes.

Yes was all she said.

Tina smiled at Bette reassuringly and moved her arms from her neck down to her shoulders. Bettes were lightly wrapped around her waist, not really knowing what to do with herself.

Tina took a step back from Bette so that they were about a foot apart from each other.

Look at me Bette instructed Tina.

Bette removed her eyes from the floor of the shower and looked at Tina.

No, I mean really look at me Bette.

Bette, not sure what she meant, allowed her eyes to quickly travel up and down the length of Tinas toned body, moving too fast though to register anything.

She returned her eyes to Tinas face as if to say, Im done and Tina simply gave her a look that said, No, youre not.

God damnit Bette, I said look at me not willing or able to hide the emotion in her voice.

This time, Bette dropped her gaze from Tinas face and allowed her eyes to take in the sight of her lover of the last 7 years, to drink her in, to give her memory the opportunity to refresh its tired recollections, to offer her mind the chance to fully remember what Tinas beautiful body had really looked like, providing an additional dimension to the flat memories that had been all that she had had to hold onto.

Her eyes traveled from Tinas face, slowly down her graceful neck, to the place where her neck and shoulders met. Her eyes followed her collar bones as they moved downward, forming a slight V, leading down to her *****. For the first time in so long, Bette allowed her eyes to rest on Tinas beautiful *****. The milky color of the skin seemed richer than she had remembered and the contrast of the rose colored nipples took her breath away. Her nipples were small and hard, begging to be touched.

Peeling her eyes from the ***** that she so loved, her eyes continued their downward movement to the tapered waist of Tina. In Bettes opinion, she still commanded one of the sexiest and alluring physiques of any woman that she knew, and during their time apart, it only appeared to have improved and become that much more desirable.

Her eyes fell onto her belly button and she watched the water skim down her taut stomach to quickly fall into the crevice, only to gently roll out after its brief stay there. The protrusion of Tinas hip bones had not changed at all, still offering the support and protection to her lower body.

As her eyes fell onto the juncture of where her legs met, Bette could no longer control her breathing. It had become erratic and she knew it. She saw the soft blond hair, darkened from the water, and immediately wanted to reach out and touch it, to separate the hair to feel what lay just beyond.

She turned away, trying to gain control of her emotions.

Dont look away from me Bette said Tina softly but with force and determination.

Bette turned back towards Tina, and after a deep breath, resumed her visual path down her body. She looked at her toned and sculptured thighs, made muscular from all of her time spent in the gym and running. Her calves were just as strong as she remembered and Bette remained convinced that Tina had the best legs in LA, or New York at this point.

Bette was not aware that Tina was watching and reading every response that Bette emitted. She did not know that Tina was getting the results that she had dreamed of, that she had needed to see from Bette in order to move forward.

She took a step towards Bette, closing the distance between them and reaching for Bettes hand, placed it palm down on her chest, just above her *****.

Do you feel this Bette? whispered Tina.

Yes replied Bette, almost in a trance.

You feel my heart beating?

Yes replied Bette in the same soft tone.

It may be what keeps me alive, but it is only for you that it beats, baby

Bette looked directly at her and for the first time since Tina had been in New York, she finally understood. She finally got it. Tina was hers and always had been. They had done terrible things to each other and to their relationship, but they still belonged to each other.

Bette finally got that she could trust Tina, that she could trust in their love for each other, that they could be free to make the ultimate commitment to the other without fear that either would get hurt.

It was finally time to let go.

I get it T she softly whispered.

Do you? she asked, her eyes desperately searching Bette’s, looking for the confirmation in her soul to the words she had just spoken.

Yes she softly said.

Hand me the shampoo, baby. Let me wash your hair.

Bette did as instructed and for the first time in she didnt know how long, finally felt at peace.

Thank you T

Youre welcome, baby she whispered in her ear, letting the water cleanse the two of them, finally allowing everything to simply wash away.