“Why?” Although it is only one word, why seemed to ask a multitude of questions simultaneously. Why am I wearing bright blue bell-bottoms? Why is the music playing so loud? Why is there a spherical, many-faced mirror suspended in midair above a flashing dance floor? Why is that human imitating a chicken?

“Because it’s fun,” Alice replied in her always-cheery tone. “We have to fit in, so we don’t we have fun at the same time?”

“This is fun?” As I watched a scantily clad female being dropped by her partner, I couldn’t fathom how this was supposed to be fun.

“Yes, it is. Now come on! Let’s dance!” Her hand closed around mine and I felt myself being dragged into the midst of the humans. A new song started to play. One that I believe is sung by Earth, Wind, and Fire. Instead of listening to the song and imitating Alice’s dance moves, I let my mind wander. How do their voices reach those pitches? I’ll have to ask Carlisle. What is that girl doing? Oh, that had to hurt…

“Dance, Edward. Loosen up!” Alice’s call disrupted my musing. She was making odd motions with her arms. Up, down. Up, down. It might have been mesmerizing, but dancing it was not.

“To be quite honest, I’d rather sit down for a while, Alice. I’ll be right over there.” I motioned with my hand towards a group of empty tables in the corner.

As I walked to the tables, I opened my mind to what the rest of the room was thinking. Most thoughts were sexual. The majority of the rest were drug related. Only one mind was different. Alice, of course. She was memorizing the lyrics to the song. I promised myself right then and there that I would have nothing else to do with the pop culture of the nineteen seventies.

Just then, another mind caught my attention. Look at that hair, what a groovy shade of red. God, he is extremely good-looking. He looks tall, too. Maybe Donna can talk to him for me. She’s aggressive enough.

I turned towards the female voice in my head. A petite blonde wearing one of the more modest outfits in the room. I stared straight into her eyes. Sure enough, a vivid red color crept into her cheeks. Yes, that was the one.

When I broke eye contact with her, she turned to the girl on her left and pointed at me. Looking at the two, I couldn’t see how they were friends. This one was positively huge. She had an angry scowl plastered on her face, and unlike the blonde, she could not be considered even mildly attractive.

She thought rather loudly, “Mandy doesn’t have a shot with him. He’s hot, she’s not. Besides, Mandy is too shy. A guy like that deserves a woman, not a girl.”

I chuckled to myself. Humans could be so tiresome. Next time, I am going to say no flat out to Alice. She can bring Jasper instead. I contemplated that thought with a frown. On second thought, she can just abandon the whole idea. Jasper in a room of tightly packed humans would be a fiasco.

I groaned inwardly as the large “woman” began to walk towards me. As she walked, she swung her hips in a hilarious fashion. It took everything I had not to laugh at her. She came to a halt right next to my chair. I stood up slowly, and in a quiet voice uttered, “No, I will not meet you tonight. No, I am not going to do anything with you. Goodbye, Donna.”

I turned on my heel swiftly and turned to find Alice a few steps away, twirling like a ballerina. At least one of us had fun.

"Alice, we're leaving."

She didn't question my tone. I didn't blame her. A saint would have recoiled from my tone. I stalked to my car with Alice in tow; one of us smiling, the other scowling.