It was two hours later and I was sitting on the balcony, smoking with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my right hand. I hadn’t really been drinking too much of it but I had a nice little buzz going and I was on my second cigarette. I could hear someone banging on the front door but I ignored it, along with my cell phone that was ringing every five minutes. It was obviously Spencer, I was supposed to have met her and I didn’t, that could cause some panic. I had instructed Kyla and Aiden not to let her in and even though they’d both tried to talk me out of it they had remained loyal and hadn’t let her in.

            “What the fuck Ashley?” Spencer yelled, barging into my room. I could see her falter for a second when she didn’t see me but then she must’ve caught sight of me because she was on the balcony in less than a second. “Jesus Christ what is your problem?” She asked, still looking angry. I didn’t bother answering her; I just snuffed up my cigarette before taking a drink. “If you want to talk about this then you’re going to have to tell me what I did wrong.” She sighed, seeing that I was past the stage of being angry.

            “Maybe I don’t want to talk about it.” I whispered, laying back in the pool chair and avoiding her eyes. I wasn’t at all surprised when I felt her sit beside me, sighing.                                      

            “Ash, come on, you can’t just put me out like this.”

            “Why won’t you move in with me?” I asked after a few minutes of silence. She seemed to be expecting this question because she didn’t react but to lean towards me and brush some hair out of my face. I flinched away from her touch and she sighed, pulling back.
            “I thought we already talked about this.”

            “No, we didn’t.”

            “Ash…” She whispered, leaning towards me again to connect her lips with mine. I sunk into the kiss for a minute before pulling back abruptly.

            “Why can’t we ever talk about our fights without you trying to cut it off by kissing me?” I asked, startling her.

            “What are you talking about?”

            “Every time we start to talk about something that you don’t want to deal with you try to stop the conversation by fucking me or kissing me or something!”

            “I do not!”

            “Then just fucking talk to me! Why didn’t you call or try to contact me for five years? How come even though I couldn’t stand not being around you, you had no problem moving on? We spend all our free time together but you don’t want to be with me always. You were so in love with me but it took you weeks to break up with Hugh! You didn’t want to tell your family about us right away. Why? Tell me why.” She didn’t say anything, she just sat there thinking.

            “I’m sorry,” She finally whispered, making me jump up; suddenly furious.

            “You’re fucking sorry? That isn’t an answer! Jesus Christ Spencer, talk to me. That’s all I want, just talk to me.” I pleaded. She shook her head and stood up, pushing her fingers through her hair as I started to cry.

            “I can’t do this right now.” She sighed, turning and leaving me on the balcony as she left my apartment without looking back at me. I angrily wiped the tears off of my face before picking up the bottle of Jack and hurling it at the opposite wall in frustration. I watched it shatter just like my life as I crumbled down into the chair sobbing. Kimberly appeared on the balcony with a blanket and fake concern. She sat down beside me and wrapped the blanket around me, pulling me into her. I knew that this was probably somehow her fault but at that point the devil himself could’ve come to give me comfort and I would’ve taken it gladly.