Edward’s face turned that strange pale colour again, the one where I questioned if he had momentarily died.

Edward raked his hand through his hair, I could tell his mind was working over drive, but for that briefest moment, I wanted him more than anything, I wanted to forget about everything that had happened, I wanted his body close to mine, I wanted to feel safe even for just an hour to rid everything out of my mind before we got back into this nightmare of a conversation.

So that is what I decided to god damn do. Think of yourself now and again my mother would always say.

I pulled on Edward’s top to bring him closer to me, I stood on my tip toes and very gently placed my lips on his, I “ahhhed” in the sensation, nothing quite felt better than this.

“I love you” I breathed out desperately.

“You will never know how much I love you” Edward called in my ear causing my whole body to shake.

“But I think I should head home to see If Tanya’s clothes are there, I need to check the security cameras” I think I may have gripped him a little too hard as Edward jumped slightly.

“Please don’t leave me yet” I begged “I need you” Because I am an absolute selfish bitch when it comes to Edward.

My hands shakingly began to unloosen the buttons on his shirt, Edwards’s hands grabbed hold of mine to stop me, I closed my eyes and shook my head slightly, completed humiliated and embarrassed with myself.

My eyes deceived me and a single tear fell down my right cheek, Edward removed his hands from mine and brushed the tear away while placing his finger under my chin to tilt my head up.

A smile slowly appeared on his face causing me to smile too – he was infectious.

“Do you really think you can handle this right now? Emotionally I mean” Edward asked, I suddenly realised he didn’t know that this is what I needed.

“Yes Edward, this is what I need” I pleaded with him.

Edward bent at the knees picked me up bridal style and asked me where the spare room was, I appreciated he did not want to sleep in the same bed me and Jacob had made love in.