The Hardest Love of All

Watching her walk away, I felt something break inside me. She said she loved me; she even kissed me like she couldn’t get enough, but to watch her go to someone else was just… wrong.

“Damn,” I muttered, slamming my fist on the wall close to me. A normal man, one with no strength to speak of, would have been on the floor writhing in pain from the blow.

Not me; pain doesn’t effect me like that anymore.

Actually, no; that would be a lie. I wish I was lying on the floor, in pain.

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Watching her walk away, I tried to breathe again. I tried to pick up the pieces lying on the ground at my feet. I tried to forget the way she felt when she jumped off that damnable cliff.

Closing my eyes to the memories, I walked around blindfolded.

Too bad being blind doesn’t help when you can hear your own heart break.

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Watching her walk away, I folded to the tears always within reach these days. I sat down and cried, though it did nothing to lessen the pain.

I know you hear people say that tears are cleansing but they sure don’t do that for me.

They just make the pain worse.

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Watching her walk away, I gained new love for the falling rain. It sprinkled my face and covered the tears flowing down my cheeks.

I stayed out in the rain, not moving, just sitting there where anybody could see me.

Because the feel of the rain was almost as caressing as the pain in my heart, in my head, in my chest.

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Watching her walk away, I frowned but didn’t speak; I smiled but didn’t laugh; I ran and didn’t stop.

Because I knew that if I stopped, then all of the pain would crash down upon me.

At least if I ran, I had a chance to outrun it.

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Watching her walk away, my heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing; I stopped thinking.

Because if I thought, then I would do something I would later regret.

Because if I kept breathing, then I would die much sooner.

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Watching her walk away, I realized one thing: don’t run your world around one person, because then you have no life at all.

You don’t breathe; you don’t think; you don’t feel for you, you feel for them.

And that’s the hardest love of all.