Ashley gave a half hearted smile to girl who was unknowingly breaking her heart little by little each day.

“Well that’s what you say now…let me know if you change your mind in a year…”

There she was.  Sarcastic Ashley was back.  Good old self defense mechanism.  Spencer hated this side of Ashley.

“Well we’ll see I guess…”

“Yeah…”

The two girls went back to studying and didn’t speak much for the next few hours.  They made love that night after a long period of silence and both girls could feel the emotion behind the sex tonight.  As they came they looked into each others eyes and saw all the fears and doubts and confusion that the past few weeks had brought them.  It broke Ashley’s heart and planted the seed of doubt in Spencer’s.

The last few weeks of school were a blur with mid terms and papers due and both girls were extremely busy finishing everything up.  They still spent almost every waking and non-waking hour together but Spencer couldn’t help but feel like Ashley was going through the motions with her.  She wanted to ask her about it but she didn’t want to fight since things had been going on so well.  Figuratively speaking of course. 

Ashley spent the first two weeks of winter break really trying to figure out exactly what was going on with her and Spencer.  She knew she loved Spencer…and she knew that Spencer loved her.  But she didn’t know if she could handle Spencer so far away for so many years…and she really didn’t want to give up her dream of making it in the music industry. But on the other hand she was not about to ask Spencer to stay in California just so she could have her close.  Ashley had to prove to both Spencer and herself that she could deal with whatever life threw at them.  Even if it meant they couldn’t be together.  Because no one is worth that much right?

RING RING

“Hello?”

“Hey you…whatcha up to?”

“Nothing…boy toy #4 is over so my mother banished me to my room…what are you doing?”

“I just mailed out my college apps…”