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The Assassination of Trust – (Chapter: See the Paradox)
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A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox…they would understand the dilemma.—Marlene Dietrich
Maybe this entire thing rests on my shoulders alone. Maybe this is all my undoing, sparked from the restless cycle of everything I deserved clashing with the sudden reality of all that my children feared.
They both knew.
Glen saw me with her, nursing a cup of black coffee and discussing local politics at a diner on the outskirts of the city. I’ll never be able to fully describe the physical ramifications of seeing his eyes as they accidentally met mine on the eve of a moment’s absent-minded thought. Suffice it to say, I was heartbroken. My son discovered the innocent yet damaging indiscretions of his hero and I realized I was more fearful than ashamed and therefore as far from heroic as I could manage in a fleeting moment’s decision.
She tugged at my hand, attempting to bring me back to our conversation. It was the last gesture he needed, and he left with a nod of disbelief and a wave that was more habitual than purposeful.
We fought openly, but hid the truth. We fought with undertones in the kitchen.
The garage.
With me standing outside as he yelled through the window of his car.
In front of his mother over something as trite as the weather or the score of a game in which we were actually rooting for the same team.
Still, I saw her weekly.
Weakly.
I needed him to understand that I was lonely. For the most part, only guilty of cowardice. But his mother was the one woman who could only wrong him temporarily, and any offense committed against her, was an offense committed against him.
My lying was enough.
My son and I were now only able to be cold actors in public and seething liars in private. I can’t tell you why I resented him. There was nothing about my circumstances that enabled me to attribute fault to him.
But I did.
He was young. Undecided. I missed the freedom of uttering the sentence, “I don’t know.” Because I was aging, becoming a man whose body betrayed wisdom for confusion. And she was a once-a-week thing of beauty who asked nothing of my supposed growth. She was content—for a price—to just let me be. And in her presence I took big, entitled breaths, shared nothing, and slipped in and out of every role I wanted to play in the span of a few hours before I journeyed home to be forced into one.
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Uhhh… whaaaaat?? Haha that creates way more questions than answers damnit! Lorna Doone, PERFECT. My favorite freakin shortbread. Haha this story is great though I’m craving a little Spencer ass kicking action :)
This is going to be one hell of a ride! I’m guessing one of epic proportions by the sound of it. ..I’m looking forward to every line of it!
okay everytime i read this i just keep thinking “how did she think of this??” seriously, though… this story just keeps getting better and better!! lorna doone? why does that sound familiar?? i’m getting ready to read the next chapter so hopefully i’ll find out! thanks for writing!
wow you just keep geting better and better with each update god this is geting good im like obsessed,its like a soap opera now lol :) love it pms please :) wow i didnt even notice loveash87 said the same thing till i was about to hit leave comment lol :) but yah better and better lol :)
wow you just keep geting better and better with each update god this is geting good im like obsessed,its like a soap opera now lol :) love it pms please :) wow i didnt even notice loveash87 said the same thing till i was about to hit leave comment lol :) but yah better and better lol :)
Lorna Doone! I cracked up when I read it. *sigh* yet another thickening agent. Not that I mind, just means you’ll be around more of course :P
OMG!Where is this coming from? Who would have thought. Oh the tangle webs we weave. I luv it. Drama, YES! Excellent chapter. PMASAP.
wow my mind is flying in all different directions. you seriously never fail to awe me with the twists in your writing! Lorna Doone, that was great. I was like ‘hey isn’t that a cookie or something?’ awesome awesome update, can’t wait for the next!
holyyyyyyyyyy….!!! so much drama, sweet drama though! u’re really drowning me here, and I give up fighting… everytime I think I’m finally getting it, my house of cards comes tumbling down! u’re so good at this! loving all the twists and turns. I bow to u! I surrender to ur awesomeness!