"I guess so."

"I’m not the enemy here, Spencer is." I really wished that she would just stop. I didn’t want to hear anymore; I couldn’t handle it. I wanted to cry, but there was no way I would allow myself to show that much emotion in front of Paula.

"I better go. Err, thanks I guess."

"You gonna be okay?" I don’t know why she suddenly cared.

"I’m always okay. See you around." I didn’t ever want to see her again. At that point in time, I didn’t want to see anyone ever again.

I got back to the hotel to find Spencer asleep. She looked so frail, so innocent. She was naked under the covers. I stood still watching her, remembering the night before wondering how much of it she really meant and how much of it was an act. I let out a sigh and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I needed to burn my skin; I needed to feel anything other than this hole in my heart.

The water was hot, soothing, my skin was turning red as it began to burn. I didn’t care. That is, I didn’t care until I was aware of her presence; until I felt her naked body climbing into the shower behind me and turning the cold water on.

"You’re going to get hurt," she smiled. I cringed.

She was leaning closer to me, ready to kiss me. Maybe even ready for a repeat of last night’s performance.

I wanted to. Oh God, how I wanted to. But I couldn’t. My head betrayed my heart. I stepped away from her avoiding eye contact, goose bumps forming from the cold water. I may even have been shivering. Emotion sickness, I was a sufferer.

"We better get a move on, go somewhere else. I’m tired of this hotel." I climbed out the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around myself, more for security than warmth.

The shower was turned off and Spencer was standing in front of me.

"Do you regret last night? I woke up this morning and you were gone," her voice was strained. I was getting mixed signals. She sounded hurt, worried but I was so confused. I really wished I knew how she truly felt about me, and I wish I knew exactly how I felt about her.