This kid makes me feel stupid. She can’t be older than 14, and she’s making me out to look like the biggest fucking turd on the planet. It really pisses me off. I do the only thing I can do when I’m pissed, shoot off at the mouth. “The only reason why I’m even putting up with your lameness in the first place is because my evil Mother threatened to take away my car. Do you think I’d be gritting my teeth and trying to play nice if there wasn’t a proverbial gun to my head? Think again, princess,” I laugh, mainly to cover up my shame. “I’m out of here.”

Jesus, that kid has something coming to her. I’m in Aiden’s basement, recounting the stand-off. “Yeah,” he snorts. “The hots from you.”

“That is so not funny. Why is that funny?”

“She just seems like your type is all. Besides, name the last time you went off on a rabid rant about some girl?”

Touché, Dennison. “Right, well shut up. It’s still not funny.” I give up my pacing to plop down on the Love Sac. And ew, a whole world of no, perverts, it has nothing to do with that certain sagilicious part of the male anatomy. It’s only one of the most functionally comfortable pieces of unconventional furniture in the history of.

“I didn’t know you were into cradle robbing, Ashley,” he laughs, shooting a ball into his mini basketball hoop. Swoosh. “I would have given you those Chuck E. Cheese coupons my Mom brings home all the time.”

“Ass. I’m not–I’m not into her, alright?”

“Okay, if you’re not into her, mind if I go for it?” He waggles his eyebrows at me like some prehistoric playboy—Hugh Heffner maybe? “You know we’ve got identical palates, and from the way you’re carrying on, this girl sounds like a choice selection.”

“No!” I snap, maybe too quickly.

He laughs, euphoric off my slip up, and his resulting win. “See! You so like her.”

“God, Dennison, you’re such a moron!” I shove at his arm, making him miss his next shot. The ball ricochets off the wall and into the washing machine. “Hypothetically speaking, let’s say I was remotely attracted to her, alright? Even if I was, there would be like no chance of a hook-up. She obviously hates me, and my Mom is best friends with her mom which is beyond creepy. I mean, what kind of person is willingly best friends with a psycho like my Mother, and do I really want to be into said person’s offspring?”

“I get your point." He rubs at the back of his neck. "So just forget about her. There are plenty of other alluring, if not just as alluring, fish in the aquarium that is L.A., right? Let me take you out to Gray tonight. I’ll introduce you to that girl that’s been asking about you nonstop since she saw you last weekend. Trust when I say that she’s smoking. I’m sure you two can come up with ways to take your mind off this Spencer chick and if not, I’d be more than happy to contribute to the suggestion box.” He gives me a cheesy smile. His attempt is comforting.

“Thanks, Aiden,” I sigh, resting my chin on his shoulder. “Have I told you that you’re, like, the best?”

“Yep.” He ruffles my hair and smoothes it down to give the top of my head a brotherly kiss, and with that, Operation Forget Spencer Carlin is underway.