From the corner of my eyes, I see his hands rise to close to my head.  I close my eyes, getting ready for the onslaught of hits to continue from earlier this morning. But then I feel his hands softly graze my bruised face and I open my eyes.  

He notices the fear in my eyes and solemnly whispers, “I’m so sorry for last night, I don’t know what happened to me Spencer.  Please forgive me.”  He lays his head back onto my stomach, “I’m so sorry I hurt you last night.  I want to be a father to your child Spence, our child.”  He says with sincerely in his voice.

“I know that you didn’t mean it Dion.  Look at me.”  He raises his head and locks eyes with me.  He is a handsome man and I hope our child has his eyes.  “I’m happy that you wanna be a part of our child’s life.  I know you’re going to be a wonderful father.”   I lie to him because I just can’t handle getting beat again.  We’re both drug addicts, how good of parents are we honestly going to be?  There’s no way in hell I’m telling him that.

“Thank you for saying that, I’ll protect his life like it is my own.   I’ll never let anybody touch or hurt him!” I smile at his enthusiasm.

“Hold on there, I don’t know it it’s a boy or a girl yet.”  I hesitate before continuing, “Would you still be okay if we had a girl?”  I asked hoping the fear doesn’t seep into my voice.

He leans up and kisses me softly on the lips, “If she looks anything like you, I know I wouldn’t mind.”  He leans back and with a serious face locks his eyes with mine, “I want you to quit working and you don’t need to pay me anymore.  I don’t want any other guy fucking you and maybe hitting his dick against my kid’s head…..”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his remark.  I kissed him on his forehead because I’m so happy that he wants to be there for our child.  I’m even happier that he wants me to quit my job.”

“….Also, you NEED to stop drinking alcohol and using drugs, especially heroin!!  I want us to have a healthy kid, and I promise to get you all the help you need.  I’m sure Mitch can probably help us out.  I know I’m asking a lot out of you, but I promise to be there for you every step on the way.  I want to support you Spencer so I’ll cut back on everything too, I promise you.”