"Just leave me alone." I muttered quietly against the boom of the loud music and left to get some fresh air. I couldn't take this. There were all these thoughts and emotions and… urges running through me that I felt like I was being ripped apart. There were so many questions and so few answers. And none of the answers seemed to unlock any of the questions.

When I walked out into the small backyard, my senses could only lock onto two things: the thick smell of cigarette smoke, and Aster. She had followed me. It would've been the first time for me to thank the world for smokers, but they walked in the door as though they were trying to spite specifically me.

"Great." I mumbled sarcastically to myself as I slid my hands nervously in my pockets. Aster had a similar gesture.

"I'm sorry, Viv," She finally said, sighing it out like saying the words couldn't fully express her meaning. "I know you want nothing to do with me, but believe it or not, I want everything to do with you. So will you just hear me out?"

Could I? Could I fall into this when I knew there was a high chance of heartbreak. She could be lying. The Aster that I thought she put on for show could be the real one and the one I knew when she was with me could be the fake one. How could I know for sure? Could I take the risk? When I didn't move, Aster continued as though my silence in itself was a good answer.

"You're different. You don't see all this," She gestured to herself, and I allowed myself to look at her, every piece of clothing picked to dramatize her coolness. "You just see me. Nothing I say affects you." That wasn't at all true. "You're different." She took another step towards me, "You're special."

My breath hitched when she took my hand. "Am I really?" This made Aster smile, a genuine smile that melted my heart. The words she whispered next, I did my best to commit to memory. The warm way she said it, the way she looked when she said it, like I was the most fascinating thing in the entire world, the way it made me feel…

"You really have no idea, do you?"