“Spencer, stop.  It’s ok.”  She took a deep breath and propped herself up with both arms.  She blushed as she moved her hand off my stomach, as if she wasn’t even aware it was there before.  “I’m sorry it took me so long to say this to you…”

“Ash, my word vomit was only an hour or so ago.  It’s fine,” I said, trying to lighten the mood with my description of the one-sided conversation in the car.

“No, Spence, I don’t think you understand.  I should have said what I’m about to say to you months ago.”  She stopped talking and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head as if she didn’t believe what was happening.  Instinctively and unconsciously, I put a hand on the closest part of her body I could reach, just wanting to touch her to give her encouragement and reassurance.  I felt her shiver.

“Spencer, don’t.”

Ashley said it so softly I barely heard it.  I looked down and realized my hand was on her thigh.  I quickly moved my hand, but I felt heat rise up to my cheeks and I instantly understood.  We sat there in silence for another minute or two.  It was deafening.  Tension was filling the air and practically smothering me.  Finally, Ashley began to speak.

“Spencer, since the first day I met you, I have felt something for you that I have never felt for anyone in my entire life.  Before you, I thought I understood what life was about.  I thought I knew who I was and who I wanted to be.  But then you came along, and suddenly it felt as though some giant, unseen hole in my life had been filled.  I began to feel real happiness, and understand what real relationships with other people are like.  You make me want to be a better student, a better singer, a better friend… you make me want to be a better person.”

“Oh Ash…”

“No, Spencer.  You have to let me keep talking, please.”

She sounded desperate, hurting.  I nodded.  I had never seen her feeling so vulnerable.

“But after spending just a few short weeks with you, I knew that I was feeling more than just a close friendship connection with you.  Every time you tilt your head to the side and smile at me that captivating smile you have, I melt.  Every time my skin touches yours, my heart starts racing to an ungodly beat and it feels like I am on fire.  I have been drinking you in every chance I get.  But I’ve always tried to do it with subtlety, never wanting to make you uncomfortable, or risk messing up the friendship that we have.”