Several days have passed. My nightmares are getting worse, and I’m afraid to sleep. I don’t want to see him, or hear his voice anymore. I want to be free.

"Spencer, just let out." Her fingers run continuously through my hair. "It’s not your fault. None of it is, baby" The last word of her sentence is whispered, but I still hear it.

It feels like I’ve been crying for months straight, but in reality it’s just been days. Ashley has been doing her best to comfort and reassure me that everything will be okay, but I know it won’t. Everything in my life turns to shit. Sometimes, I just want to die. I’ve told Ash this, and she has made me promise to stop talking like that, which I have for the most part. I still think about it, but it’s just a thought that I will never do.

More tears fall as he comes onto the tv again. His pleads to a country for my safe return, are in reality, his orders for me to return home immediately. They’ve painted him as a loving father in the media. The caring, loving, attentive, and sorrowful preacher that lost his daughter. It makes me want to throw up. He is anything but those. I’ve suffered for years at the hands of that man, and so has Nancy.

"Ashley?" My first time speaking all day. "Have you seen Nancy in any of the interviews?" Dread washes over me as I try to remember each one, and each one my hope diminishes for her.

"No, I haven’t" Nancy’s words shout inside my head "as long as your safe." He’s hurt her. I know it and all because of me. I ran because she told me to, knowing what he would do to her. I’ve killed her. Please let me be wrong.

"Ash, I’m scared." Pressing my face tighter into her stomach, I let my emotions free. "He’s gonna find me, and when he does, he’s going to kill you. I can’t lose you, Ash. I can’t" I cry harder into her. Her shirt is soaking wet now.

"What else are you scared of Spence?"

"Everything" I look up at Ashley’s whiskey colored eyes, and the love that is shining through them is very relaxing allowing me to open up more. "If he finds me, I’m gonna wish I was dead after he gets done." Taking a deep breath, "I think he killed Nancy, or at least hurt her badly. There has been many times that I’ve found her passed out from a beating." I gather up the rest of my nerve to finish the story. I owe it to Ash to tell her. She’s risking her life by being with me, so I need to be honest now more then ever.