The room stayed illuminated with the blue light from the television as the pouring rain outside slowed to a drizzle. I kept my eyes down as I pulled away from the embrace. I couldn’t even begin to fathom what had happened, or why I hadn’t kissed her a second time. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want her to think she had done anything wrong, but I didn’t want to rush things and make it awkward. So I just sat there, like her. I felt her look at me a few times but I just kept my head down. It was quiet only for a few minutes, but it felt like forever. ‘What can I say? What is there to say?’ I thought to myself. I rehearsed some lines in my head. Nothing sounded good. I heard her take a breath as if she was going to say something, I looked up. She kept her eyes down and played with her hands.
"Spencer, it’s not that I didn’t.." She interrupted before I could finish.
"I think that was a mistake." I tried to look at her but she kept her eyes down.
"No it wasn’t, ummm, we just.." I tried to find a way to explain that it was alright. I tried but I couldn’t find any words to explain the reason behind that kiss. Deep down, I had no idea why she kissed me, or even why I kissed back. I didn’t regret it, but I didn’t know why it happened. It made me feel good, the knots and butterflies went away the minute her lips touched mine. But it seemed that she didn’t feel the same.
"Ashley it was just a kiss." She tried to sound stern but it seemed that she was trying to convince herself of that more than me. I knew what she must be feeling. I tried to remember the first time I had kissed a girl. I was nervous, but it felt right, natural. I remember how gentle it was, but at the same time it was passionate. It wasn’t just a kiss. And what had happened between Spencer and I wasn’t just a kiss either.
"I don’t know what it was. But it wasn’t just a kiss. I think.."
"I think that I need some time." I understood. This was as confusing for me as it was for her. I had kissed Alex before I had even knew her name, no knots, no butterflies, no need to impress. And now, after being with Spencer, I felt out of control, and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. So I wasn’t about to try and handle her feelings and sort them out too.
"Okay." I got up and walked over to the kitchen and grabbed my keys. She stayed seated on the couch. I headed for the door and reached for the knob. I paused and looked back at her.
"Call me or something alright?" She looked up, her blue eyes connected with mine for a second. She got up and walked over to me.
"Alright." And with that she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. I hugged back, smelling the sweet scent of apples that floated from her blonde locks. Her warmth radiated onto me again, and I felt her place a kiss on my temple as she pulled away. I avoided looking into her eyes as I opened the door and walked out. I headed down to my car and got in. I put my keys into the ignition and turned them, the lights illuminating the building in front of me. I pulled away and headed home.