In turn, I stated that "to be fair, I’d never said I was straight."  I continued to tell her that although I was gay, I wasn’t attracted to her. I was warned that when she wants something, she pursues it, and almost always achieves her goals in the end.  After that part of our conversation passed, I told her about how long I’d struggled with my orientation, and I asked that she not tell anybody that I was gay.  I remember her telling me that "she would never do that; she wasn’t like that."  God, how I wish she hadn’t been lying.

True to her word, she continued her pursuit of me relentlessly.   After about a month, I admitted to her that I might be attracted to her.  I hope you realize, as most of you are probably gay as well, that this was a huge step for me.  Admitting I was gay is one thing. Admitting  that you like somebody, especiall to that somebody, is an entirely different issue.  She should have been well aware that me telling her that require a lot of effort and courage on my part.

Apparently, she wasn’t aware enough.  That weekend she called me and told me that there was another girl she’d liked for almost a year.  The other girl had supposedly told her that she liked her, and that she was terribly sorry but she would have to stop "seeing" me and wanted to be with the other girl.  I remember hoping that this other girl, "Ash," she called her, was worth it. 

Don’t get me wrong though.  I wasn’t mad.  I’m quite understanding when it comes to people’s feelings and the inability to control those feelings.  Instead, I told her that I understood, and that I still wanted to be friends with her.  The next day, she called again apologizing and saying that she’d made a mistake.  I was the one she wanted to be with, and not Ashley.  I accepted her apology, because I really didn’t know what else to do. 

Over the next few weeks or so, she repeated the process two times.   The final time, I recieved only an email telling me that she was wrong the entire time and that she really did want to be with Ashley.  Again, I was devastated, but understanding.