Pacing my room, I tried gaining the courage to push send. Sighing I pushed in the button and watched the text message leave my hands. I needed to tell her, so I told her we needed to talk. Seconds later my phone vibrated in my hands. Opening it up, I sighed. “It’s now or never.”

“Hey Ash,” she greeted me as I stepped inside her house.

“Hey,” I mumbled. God this was going to be hard, but it needed to be done. I watched her as she leaned up against her counter. “You home alone?”

“Yep, Glen’s at practice, Parents at work, Clay’s with Chelsea,” she replied with little enthusiasm in her voice. I shook my head and stood there trying not to feel awkward.

“What did you want to talk about Ash?” she asked seriously. Was I going to be able to do this.

“I,I don’t know how to say it,” I sighed taking a seat on a kitchen stool.

“This is going to take awhile isn’t it?” she asked smirking a little.

“Sorry,” I grumbled tracing circles on the table top with my fingers nervously.

“Spencer,” I started inhaling sharply. “There’s, there’s a reason I don’t want to date Aiden,” I sighed trying to choose my words very carefully. She looked at me questioningly until her face seemed to light up. Did she know?

“So you like someone else,” she proclaimed. I was getting excited. Maybe I wouldn’t have to even say anything. “Who is he?” Ok, I guess she had no clue what I was about to say.

“God I did not think it’d be this hard,” I sighed.

“What do you mean Ash?”

“Spence I’m, I’m not exactly straight,” I whispered to the point where it was barely even audible. But from the look on her face, I could tell she heard me. I watched as her mind processed the information. “I uh just thought you should know.” The chair was growing uncomfortable, so I got out of it and started pacing.

“So you’re bi?” she finally asked.

“Actually I’m gay,” I stated figuring by now it really didn’t matter if she knew or not. Plus by this point in the situation, there was no use in lying. I might as well put it all out there on the table.

“How long have you known?” she asked curiously.

“Ever since Aiden felt compelled to point it out,” I shuttered. We sat there in silence. I could literally feel the tension. “You hate me, don’t you?” I mumbled. It was more of a statement than a question. If it was possible for my heart to break anymore than it already has, it burst into pieces those few minutes of silence.

“Ash I could never hate you,” she stated in all seriousness.

“I, I just needed to tell you,” I stuttered over my words. “I, uh, I…”

“You still haven’t learned to say what you’re thinking,” she joked shaking her head.

“Guess not,” I sighed.