"I love you, Spencer" said Ashley.

Every time she said that, this simple sentence contained all of her feelings: all the happiness, bliss, joy, pain, misery, hope and fear of her life, all of her previous and present emotions.
She was often thinking about how hard it was to say ’I love you’ to someone. Even to Spencer. Maybe it was the hardest to say it to her. Not because she didn’t love her or she wasn’t sure about her feelings. She had never been sure of anything in her life except for her love for Spencer – and this was that made it difficult to put her feelings into words.

The word ’love’ seemed so weird to her. We use the same word to express various range of feelings: to express our approve for a piece of clothes, we can love everything from a necklace to some brownies; we can make love – how strange it was for her to say ’make love’ even when this event hadn’t contained any feelings resembling love before. Still we have to use this word for the feeling that is the most crucial in our lives, that we feel for the most important person; the feeling we cannot even name.

Because what is love? Isn’t it like the ’black hole’ of feelings? Doesn’t it gather and magnetize all of our emotions, good and bad and mix it to be the strangest, the most thrilling yet the best and most blissful feeling?
Can we articualte it adequately?

No, Ashley was sure that she couldn’t tell what she felt exactly but she was sure that she wanted to experience it with Spencer and she wanted to give her everything that she could. She had a good heart and Spencer knew it. She had lots of love in her heart but she didn’t know what to do with it.

Her parents didn’t let her love them. She hated to be treated like an old relic or some kind of chalice which we don’t care about for years but when it comes to boasting and when we would like to create the best image of ourselves we rehash it and say proudly: ’Yes, it is mine, I love it and I’m proud that I have it’. Ashely hated hypocrisy.