Spencer’s POV

Have you ever felt like you were invisible to the world?

I’ve always felt like I was an outcast with my peers and even my family

Oddly enough I was amongst the popular crowd

My brothers and I grew up with every luxury imaginable and I always longed for more. I was the rich girl who had no friends and no one understood me or why I was so unhappy having what they’d hoped for.

I didn’t get how material things were always the replacement for love and bonding

I wanted more

That something that fills me with all the things I need and not the things I can buy

Most of my days were spent day dreaming about my life and how it could be different.

What if I had ever fallen in love?

What if my parents were there more?

Is it really necessary for me to have a 4 bedroom home when I live alone?

Why was I never allowed to have a pet?

Am I capable of giving myself to someone?

Why am I still a virgin?

What if I weren’t gay?

So many questions

Ugh

Now I have a headache

Standing up I start to feel dizzy but that’s probably from spinning around in circles in my office chair. Catching my balance and walking towards the elevator I ignore the stares as I pass on my way to the restroom. I pull on the door and step inside my safe haven.

Being the only female in an office has some benefits. A bathroom all to myself but mostly used as a hideout. It’s also where I go to light the half a cigarette that’s been lingering in my desk since the last time I thought too much.

That first drag is always the best and I savor it because I know that I’m going to regret it later. I’m not a smoker. More of the one thing I could be a rebel about and get my parents attention. I can’t even do that right because like I said…I’m not a smoker and it hurts like hell but I just like to piss off my parents.

After flushing the butte down the toilet I washed my hands and fixed myself in the mirror and headed back to my desk.