Ashley is dreaming when Spencer throws a rock at her window. It takes her a moment to realize what’s going on and when she does, she wonders why Spencer is throwing rocks at her window at two ‘o clock in the morning. She pops her head in the window, making sure that Spencer sees her.

“How did you get here, and why at two in the morning?” She asks, her hand on the door.

Spencer is wearing an Ohio Sate t-shirt, her jeans ripping at the knee. Ashley- short shorts and a Clash t-shirt. Spencer motions towards Glen’s car, keys dangling from her finger. “I-um- I drove Glen’s car. I had to. I had to see you.”

Ashley reaches out her hand, grabbing Spencer’s arm, a touch Spencer feels elsewhere. “Come on. It’s freezing out here.”

Ashley holds Spencer’s hand all the way up the stairs. Spencer is grateful for that, aware that if Ashley weren’t connected to her, she’d lose all control. They find Ashley’s room, and Spencer realizes how lonely Ashley must be in that one place, laying down to bed at night knowing there’s no one else to keep her from being swallowed up.

“Spence-”  The words caught in her throat. “Is everything okay?”

Spencer can’t seem to find the right words, to explain to Ashley everything she’s feeling.

“I want you.”

“You have me.”

“Make love to me.”

“You sure?” Ashley asks, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Spencer nods. She’s never been more sure of anything in her life, wants Ashley more than ever. She’s nervous, but she can’t wait any longer. Ashley stands mesmerized as Spencer lifts her shirt over her head, takes off her pants, left only in a bra and panties.

Ashley is just as nervous as Spencer, if not more so. She’s done this so many times before but she doesn’t know if she’ll be good enough for Spencer. All the other girls had meant nothing to her.

Spencer stands waiting for Ashley, has no idea what to do next. Ashley walks over to Spencer, grabs Spencer by the hips and pulls her in. Ashley is against the back of the couch, mirroring that day they first kissed. But this is different than just a kiss. It always has been. Spencer’s hands are on Ashley’s neck, then her sides, under her shirt. They’re warm under Ashley’s breasts and Spencer, so unlike herself, cups Ashley’s breasts in her hands.

And Ashley, lost in this girl in front of her, pulls her shirt over her head, takes her underwear off, revealing herself entirely to Spencer.

Spencer walks backwards to the bed, undoing her bra as she goes along. She’s reaching for her panties but Ashley’s there first.

“Are you sure?” Ashley asks for the second time, just to be safe.

Spencer doesn’t answer, can’t answer. She takes Ashley’s lips in hers, so afraid to lose this moment between them.

Ashley lays Spencer on the bed, then gently climbs on top of her, Spencer’s legs between hers. She places kisses down Spencer’s stomach, stopping at the most crucial point. She looks to Spencer for approval, but Spencer’s eyes are shut so tight, images of Ashley running through her mind. Spencer opens her eyes, wondering why Ashley has stopped. They make eye contact, two teenage girls who have never felt this kind of love before. It’s enough for Ashley, eager to taste Spencer, to show Spencer the very same thing she hopes to find.

She enters Spencer so tenderly, licking all the places she herself finds pleasurable. Spencer’s hands are in her hair, not willing Ashley to release her tongue. But Ashley has to, wants to, needs to see Spencer, beautiful, blonde Spencer as she lets go of all desires, lets go of herself, right on Ashley’s bed. Spencer pulls Ashley in for a kiss, rolls on top of her.

“I’m not really sure what to do.”

“You’re doing fine. Just let me feel you.”

And Spencer does, thrusting her fingers into Ashley, kissing her neck, softly rubbing until Ashley comes too. She collapses on Ashley, breast touching, bellies touching, every part of their bodies touching. They fall asleep that way, Spencer’s lips open on Ashley’s neck, Ashley’s arms wrapped around Spencer, each one with images of the other whispering I love you.