EPOV

“Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.”

I was walking up and down the corridors of the church as Bella changed into her outfit for the honeymoon. And out of the blue I heard a conversation coming from some open doors. I walked over to them and was about to walk in, but I heard Jessica and Lauren talking. Alice had forced Bella to make Jessica a bridesmaid saying that she should have more people from school, so Jessica Stanly and Angela Webber had stood up there next to Alice and Rosalie as we said our vows. As for Lauren, well she needed a job, and Alice so sweetly gave her a watering job.

"What a beautiful wedding!, What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"Oh yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."

I stopped because I heard Jessica complementing the wedding.

“What a gorgeous wedding! Such beautiful decorations!” Jessica said.

“Yeah, it was, but isn’t a shame that gorgeous Edward’s bride is such a whore?”

“Yes it is. I heard that she and that Jacob Black from La Push hooked up when Edward was gone.”

“Well, I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of…..”

I was about to walk though the door and say the words that I was thinking which were, “Didn’t you people ever think of closing this God d*** door?!” No! I thought. It’s much better to handle these things with a sense of poise, and rationality

But instead Edward later got Alice and Rosalie to “take care of the problem” and a week later Jessica and Lauren returned to school, with many injures including, a broken arm, a broken leg, a fractured hip, and split lips. Along with many bumps and bruises

And everyone, except for Jessica, Lauren and Mike, lived happily ever after!

THE END!

Credits:

 Edward Cullen as himself

Jessica Stanley as herself

Lauren (Don’t remember her last name) as herself

Alice Cullen as herself

Rosalie Hale as herself

 “Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.”

"What a beautiful wedding!, What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"Oh yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."

 “Well, I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of…..”

“Oh, well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for, a toast so, pour the champagne,
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way,
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne…(dun dunnnn)

Again……”