Spencer sat and looked at herself in the mirror.   Blue eyes, blonde hair, fair skin.  Everything was the same on the outside but no one could even begin to understand how she felt on the inside.  She looked away from the mirror and reached for the drawer beside her.  She pulled out the worn envelope and carefully slid out a similarly worn looking letter.  She traced the words with her eyes.  “Three years” she sighed.  “It’s been three years and I still miss you more everyday.”  She read the letter once more and gently put it back in the drawer.  “Alright,” she said to herself, “guess I better get this show on the road.”  She put on her best fake smile and head out the door.

She arrived at Clay and Chelsea’s apartment a little later than everyone else had.  She knew this because everyone was already pretty wasted. 

“And then…” Aiden spit out chuckling, “…then she slapped her for calling Spencer a bitch!”  Everyone was laughing hysterically.  “They tell this story every year,” Spencer thought to herself.  She ached when they told stories about Ashley, although no one would ever know because she would never dare show that she was still desperately in love with the girl.  Well, that’s not true.  Someone did know.  She and Chelsea had gotten to be best friends over the last 3 years.  After Chelsea miscarried her first baby, Spencer was there for her and after Ashley was gone Chelsea was there for Spencer.  Needless to say Chelsea knew Spencer in and out so she gave her best smile and went to go hug her sister-in-law.

“Hey Spence!” Chelsea sang as she wrapped her arms around Spencer.

“Hey Momma,” Spencer patted Chelsea’s stomach.  “How is baby number two?” Chelsea chuckled stating the baby was doing great and told Spencer to sit.  She made her rounds giving hugs to all of her friends, truthfully only wishing she was hugging a certain brunette.  Everyone got real quiet until Aiden poured Spencer a drink and pushed it towards her.  “This,” she thought to herself, “is the part I hate.”  She took the drink knowing what Aiden was about to say.

He clinked his glass and everyone looked towards him.  “So here we are again.  Another year but not just any other day.”  Spencer felt the stinging behind her eyes.  She glanced over at Kyla who Spencer knew was feeling the same. “This is for our Ash, on her birthday.  Where ever you are Ash we just want you to know we are thinking about you.”  Everyone yelled cheers and clanked their glasses together.  Spencer smiled but inside she was breaking.  “Three years,” she thought, “three years since you’ve died and I still miss you more everyday.”